Home Sweet Homewrecker

Popovers!

2012-01-16T13:40:00.001-05:00

The HSHW household recently bought a KitchenAid stand mixer. You know, the classic ones that every good homemaker should own. And now we do! Shoutout to Target for having it on sale for only $199.99.

I hadn't actually used it yet -- Mr. Homewrecker has been using it to make his from-scratch chipotle mayo -- so I browsed the little cookbook that comes with the mixer and came across a recipe for popovers. For those unfamiliar, popovers are similar to Yorkshire Pudding, which like many English "pudding" dishes isn't anything like the Jell-o we're familiar with. It's bread. And it's eggy and delicious.

I love when the food actually looks like the picture in the recipe

And, as it turns out, they're a total breeze to make, especially with the stand mixer. I'll share the recipe with you all since it's a cinch. The hardest part was greasing and flouring the ramekins. A large muffin tin would work as well.

POPOVER RECIPE from KitchenAid recipe book

2 eggs
1 cup milk
1 tbs butter or margarine, melted
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt

Place eggs, milk, butter, flour and salt in a mixer bowl. Attach bowl and wire whip to mixer. Turn to Speed 4 and beat 15 seconds. Stop and scrape bowl. Turn to Speed 4 and beat 15 seconds more. [Now, if you don't have a KitchenAid mixer, I'm fairly confident this entire step could be done with a hand mixer or a wire whisk and a little elbow grease]

Fill 8 heavily greased and floured custard cups half full with batter. Place cups on cookie sheet. Place cookie sheet in cold oven and set heat at 450 degrees F. Bake for 15 minutes; reduce heat to 350 degrees F and bake 20 to 25 minutes longer. Remove from oven and cut slit into side of each popover. [I guess that's to deflate them? I skipped this step since mine de-poofed on their own after only a moment out of the oven] Serve immediately. Yield: 8 popovers.

Serving suggestion: I think these would go great with apricot jam. Today I had them with Anarchy in a Jar's Hot Fireman's Pear Jam with Chipotle and Cinnamon -- also a great pairing (pear-ing?)

These Cookies are My Jam

2011-12-13T17:28:00.000-05:00

This is just a quick post to brag that I have made THE BEST COOKIES EVER. I know I made this claim once before, but this tops it.

Following Thanksgiving I had a stash of leftover hazelnuts -- which, by the way, are really expensive -- and in an effort to put them to use, I checked out this new site Gojee.com. It's not the first site to offer recipe search based on available ingredients, but it is certainly the prettiest I've seen. All the photos are huge and beautiful and made me instantly very hungry.

My search led me swiftly to this recipe for Hazelnut Rosemary Jam Cookies. And, since I had leftover rosemary in the house too, I didn't even have to get out of my pajamas to go to the store for ingredients. For the jam I used two of my mom's homemade preserves, which I always have stockpiled -- raspberry rhubarb and pear. The cookies were super easy to make and turned out perfectly. Seriously, just look at my snapshot above and compare it to Gojee. Pretty good, right? The rosemary gave them a really unique and dare I say fancy flavor. I may even whip up another batch of these to impress my in-laws at Christmas this year.

While I'm bragging, I might as well show off my pumpkin pie that I made for Thanksgiving. Joy of Cooking pie + Bobby Flay's graham cracker crust and some homemade maple whipped cream. So good!

Seagull Living: Week 4

2011-12-04T10:08:00.001-05:00

My coupon-clipping, Groupon-buying, leftovers-scarfing journey through November continued. While the Thanksgiving feast ultimately blew our tight budget, we still picked up a lot of deals and freebies along the way. Here's the final round up:

Nov. 22: I took the rest of this holiday week off and spent much of it sleeping in and catching up on projects at home. By staying in my pajamas all day and not leaving the house, I managed to not spend much money.

Nov. 23: We recently started renting a storage unit for our business and received a coupon for a free pizza at Il Porto with the new rental. Cashed that in tonight. Il Porto is a hidden gem on the far north end of Washington Ave across from the Navy Yards. Try the "Navy Yard" pizza with pesto, sopresatta and mozzarella, or the veal scaloppine.

Nov. 24: Thanksgiving! Mr Homewrecker made a beautiful turkey and all the requisite sides. I made a cauliflower, pear and hazelnut dish I saw in New York Magazine, plus clementine cranberry sauce and my first ever pumpkin pie. Yeah, the fixins cost a bit, but it's freaking Thanksgiving, and besides, we're going to live off the leftovers for the next week.

Nov. 25: Saw the delightful new Muppets Movie with a Groupon for $9 admission for two + free popcorn at Alpine Cinema in Bay Ridge. We have rarely gone down to Bay Ridge, and it seemed like "real" Brooklyn to me. Not Cosby show, hipster, stuff-white-people-like Brooklyn where we live. Also instead of Black Friday, we effectively did "buy nothing day" by using this deal and living off turkey leftovers.

Nov. 26: Small Business Saturday. American Express was offering this awesome deal where you register your card with their website and spend $25 or more at any small business that accepts AmEx, and BOOM you get $25 credit on your account. We had a wonderful brunch at Bogato Latin Bistro in Park Slope. Plus, Bogata has deals on Facebook and Foursquare where you get a free side of papas criollas on your first check-in. Scored that too. After brunch we went to Staples and got a Black Friday deal on a paper shredder. Originally $80 -- $20 after the mail-in rebate.

Nov. 27: I'm way into Scoutmob deals now. Tried a cute little Mexican place in Park Slope called El Jalapeno and got 50% off our meal.

Nov. 28-30: Coasted into December eating nothing but those Thanksgiving leftovers.

How did we do? Well, we blew our ambitious $600 food budget big time, but that included a Thanksgiving feast, and still we only spent our usual $800 a month and scored lots of little extras like free coffees and treats. Hardly enough to save our budget, but enough to make each day a little more enjoyable.

Seagull Living: Week 3

2011-11-21T00:53:00.001-05:00

Despite my best efforts to scrimp and save this month, the family food budget is already skidding beyond where it should be and we haven't even done all the Thanksgiving shopping yet. Nevertheless, I did find some killer freebies this week, including several of the pumpkin variety!

Nov. 15: Passed a new restaurant on the way to band practice with a sign out front advertising their grand opening that said "Free Coffee. Don't be shy." Don't mind if I do.

Nov. 16: Scored two deals in quick succession today. On my way to Tebaya to use a $5 for $10 Google deal for a Japanese chicken sandwich lunch (plus jasmine tea), I passed the Treats Truck. As I am friendly with the owner, I was gifted a mini pumpkin pie. So cute (and delicious)!

Nov. 17: Keeping the pumpkin theme going, today my friend Ezra tipped me off to a ScoutMob deal at Billy's Bakery for 100% free pumpkin whoopie pies. We met up for a dessert break and then topped it off with two-for-one holiday Starbucks drinks, which was today's special from 2-5pm. Score!

Nov. 18: I earned my free food today. Mr Homewrecker and I served from our mobile food biz in the fancy cafeteria "Cafe 57" at the Hearst building. As a thank you, we got free lunch from the cafe, which was really delicious. I even took a brownie for the road. Passed Nina Garcia from Project Runway on the way out. Then this evening I went to hear my friend Toby read at Book Thug Nation where I gladly accepted a free can of beer.

Nov. 19: With so many good deals the past few days, I was content today to just not leave the house much and graze on leftovers. I also ate the last few bites of my friend Dan's doughnut from Pies n Thighs. Seagull swoopin in.

Nov. 20: A few weeks ago my purse got stolen, which was a drag to say the least. Good news is a woman found it discarded in a nearby park, contacted me, and I got it back, though short about $40, a Metrocard, my iPod and all my credit cards. Another funny upside? All the fraudulent spending the thief conducted on my Banana Republic card before I had a chance to cancel it added up to enough bonus points with BR to score me a $10 gift certificate which arrived in the mail this week. I stopped in an Old Navy this afternoon and discovered there was a 75% off sweater sale happening for TWENTY MORE MINUTES. $10 would easily buy me a sweater at those deep price cuts. I started to panic with the prospect of a free sweater looming over me, but ultimately decided to hell with it when I took a deep breath and remembered that I don't actually want to wear any Old Navy sweaters.

Nov. 21: Last Christmas we took Amtrak to Chicago to visit my parents, and on the way back we got held up by Snowpocalypse. While we were still better off than those who were stranded without flights, I was disappointed with Amtrak's handling of the situation. (We got unceremoniously dumped in Albany and crammed onto charter buses.) My complaint resulted in two $75 vouchers, and today I finally found occasion to cash them in. I had to purchase the tickets in person, which meant making a special trip to Penn Station and dealing with a woman who seems to hate her job and hate helping people like me with coupons and questions about timetables which she did not care to answer. Now I have two round-trip tickets to Boston for Christmas, which at $75 off are still much more expensive than taking the bus, so I'm not sure who wins here. At least we'll have more legroom?

One more week of Seagull Living ahead of me. Get ready for several days of Thanksgiving leftovers. Turkey pie, turkey sandwich, turkey soup...

Seagull Living: Week 2

2011-11-13T21:44:00.001-05:00

Week two of seagull-style, food-snatching austerity living was tougher than week one. My enthusiasm for leftovers was waning, but I did score some good deals this week and picked up some Groupons and rewards discounts for later this month. Here's the run down:

Nov. 8: Didn't score any freebies or deals today, so compensated by eating a dinner entirely of odds and ends from our freezer. A few frozen Trader Joe's meatballs, some frozen green beans, and two freezer-burned bread dumplings that once nuked were no longer fluffy and moist, but more hockey-puck like. Gross. At least I cleaned out the freezer a bit.

Nov. 9: Again didn't score any deals today, so we'll have to count the $2-off happy hour wine I had at Brooklyn Winery where I attended the Work-It Brooklyn social networking panel. Cheers!

Nov. 10: Possibly my most exciting deal of the week, today my coworkers and I walked over to 9th Ave where the Luke's Lobster and Bongo Brothers food trucks were handing out free food as part of a MasterCard Facebook and Twitter promotion. I'd been wanting to try the sandwiches from the new Bongo Bros Cuban truck, so this was the perfect occasion.

Nov. 11: My coworker Jen brought in doughnuts from the Donut Pub, and maybe I had more than one.

Nov. 12: My band played a show in Brooklyn and as "the talent" were entitled to $1 beers all night. Yes please.

Nov. 13: Didn't really leave the house today, but I did a lot of deal shopping online as I planned for the upcoming holidays. Bought a photo album from Snapfish for my parents and scored two more for free with a coupon code. Cashed in some AmEx rewards points for a $75 Avis gift certificate which I'll use for a rental car at Christmastime in Boston. Going to try and shave an extra 10% off the rental with my ASCAP membership discount. I am seriously feeling like an EXTREME COUPONER today.

Nov. 14: Stuck working at the office until 9:30pm. Upside? Boss let us order pizza.

We seem to be on track with our food budget so far, but we're hosting Thanksgiving next week and are sure to go overboard. Mr Homewrecker grew up in Plymouth, MA so he's got a bit of a Thanksgiving dinner precedent to uphold, you know? The trick will be stretching those leftovers until December 1st.

Seagull Living: Week 1

2011-11-07T19:30:00.000-05:00

If you know me, you know I'm a bit of a seagull. Ready to swoop in and snatch any leftover snacks. Shameless when it comes to offers of free food. This is why I really don't fare well in open bar situations. My desire to take advantage of free consumables overrides all other logic.

Last month I blew my food budget big time (which I know from obsessive tracking on Mint.com). Now that it's a new month, I'm determined to make up for it. I shaved a whopping $200 off the household food budget for November. In order to make this work, I'm looking for daily opportunities for free food, dining and shopping deals, and any other ways to stretch our budget.

Here's the seagull deals from week one. I scavenged a surprising amount of food from the office:

Nov. 1: leftover Patsy's pizza in the fridge at work from Halloween party; free can of beer offered by friend at band practice

Nov. 2: free fries with the purchase of a burger at Energy Kitchen, who often have deals going if you keep an eye out

Nov. 3: day old Murray's bagel from a work meeting (that I was not even a part of); more than my share of Milano cookies during a work meeting about our new employee benefits; tuna salad made from cans of tuna leftover from our Hurricane Irene stockpile

Nov. 4: toast and jam from delicious leftover rosemary bread a friend didn't use last weekend at his grilled cheese business + free sample of strawberry jalapeno jam from Heat Sweets; can of beer from work fridge leftover from management meeting reception several weeks ago.

Nov. 5: delicious Japanese dinner at our friends' apartment, offered in exchange for advice on how to use Facebook to promote a non-profit. Glad to dispense advice for food!

Nov. 6: watched the NYC Marathon pass through Clinton Hill -- free entertainment! Even chased my friend Colleen for a few blocks -- free workout! Then enjoyed a glass of Willamette Valley Pinot Noir that I got with a $25 credit at Lot18.

Nov. 7: didn't really score any deals today, but did eat one of Mr Homewrecker's delicious stuffed red pepper leftovers for lunch. Shared seagull karma by sending a link to a Scout Mob deal on 100% free fries from Pommes Frites to friends who live nearby in the East Village. I've had more than enough pommes frites lately.

What kind of deals should I get in on this coming week? Send me some tips in the comments.

Dispatch from the Hot Dog Startup

2011-10-07T09:54:00.000-05:00

In case you've checked in on my blog lately and wondered where the heck I've been, here's the answer by way of photos:

Starting in June, Mr. Homewrecker and I have been testing our hands at making food... in public... for paying customers. And the craziest part is it's working out. The food is really, really good, and people have been enjoying it! What's less enjoyable is lifting a deep fryer and a giant grill on and off a truck twice a week and having no social life any more, but the payoff will be sometime next year when this blossoms into a full-time food business and we can call ourselves professional cooks!

You can find us grilling and deep frying weekends through October. Just check out www.snaptrucknyc.com for more info. This winter we'll be turning our focus back to fund raising (feel free to give us money) and building our Chevy step-van into a beautiful mobile food truck so we can hit the road for real in 2012. Wish us luck!

Photos: panko-crusted avocado fries with chipotle mayo, Belgian fries with housemade mayo, Chicago-style hot dog, Andouille sausage burger.

Home-Brewed Ice Coffee

2011-08-03T09:52:00.002-05:00

Finally figured out the trick to making good iced coffee at home. Make it twice as strong. I ground 6 scoops of beans rather than 3, brewed it in the french press and then simply stuck it in the fridge overnight.

In the morning, add it to ice and a little cold water to dilute the concentrated coffee. If you really want to keep the coffee strong, make coffee ice cubes too!

Summer Salad

2011-06-29T06:46:00.005-05:00

It's officially too hot to spend much time in the kitchen, and I'm so sick of turkey sandwiches every day for lunch. This antipasto salad was the perfect bring-to-work solution.

Arugula, mozzarella balls, pepperoni, olives, roasted red pepper, red wine vinegar, olive oil, salt, oregano, and orecchiette pasta. I had half the ingredients in the house already, so I splurged on fancy cheese, meat and olives at Choice Greene.

The Hungover Cookbook

2011-06-25T08:51:00.006-05:00

For the days when you sleep right through brunch and don't know what to do:

Hangovers, like the one-night-stands that precede them, come in all shapes and sizes. Acknowledging this fact, THC's a choose-your-own-adventure-style cookbook that diagnoses your brain-pain via a series of visual & multiple-choice questions, categorizing it as one of six different species of delerium tremens, and directing you to a range of detailed recipes particularly suited to said genus.

Read more on Thrillist.com and buy Milton Crawford's book here.

Petunia Window Boxes

2011-05-20T10:25:00.003-05:00

Fingers crossed I won't kill them this year. We also anchored the window boxes better so they won't get blown off the ledge and smash into our landlord's yard like last year. Thank GOD she still renewed our lease!

Baby Bookmarking

2011-03-15T22:43:00.007-05:00

Two things recently have contributed to an acceleration of my maternal desire to spawn, which has already been kicked up a notch by getting married.

1) My cool urban friends are starting to have babies. Not the old high school classmates who married years before me. Not the college buddies who settled in suburbia. Those friends are all cool in their own way, but recently my friends who are on the same career-oriented, urban-living track as me have started to get preggers. They have cool blogs about their babies and post adorable videos of their tots playing guitar and dancing to Of Montreal and they get to dress them in ironic onesies. It's sort of sweet.

2) One of my clients at work is expanding the marketing of their baby products, so I'm getting a daily dose of smiling baby pics and shinny new stuff baby needs from the store.

The result is a slight up-tick in my desire to have my own little bundle of joy, but perhaps more immediate is the way I've started to bookmark ideas for designing a delightfully decorated room for my eventual mini me.

Like how cute are these Skwirrols decals for redecorating a kid's Ikea dresser set?

Ok, so for now I'm still just really into the peripheral fun things that comes with having a kid. But at least as I watch my awesome friends figure out how to work being moms and dads into their busy lives, and see how they deal with the scary stuff and figure out the tough things and embrace the wonderful moments, I feel a little more prepared to tackle that challenge when the time is right.

Pacifist onesie pic from plutokidstwo on Etsy.

Channeling Frustration Into Baked Goods

2011-03-12T20:58:00.005-05:00

Call it cabin fever, or call it misplaced frustration, but I have been baking up a storm. I have all these long-term projects inching forward, but held up by finances or time or energy or whatever. The beauty of baking is you can set out to make something, and a few hours later it's done, it's beautiful and it's delicious.

When you're feeling bad about not accomplishing more, baking cookies is not only satisfying to complete, but very comforting to eat. And eat. And eat.

Thankfully this weekend is sunny and warmer, and I got out of the house on my bike to burn off some calories and keep away from the oven.

Shown above: Lemon Cherry Scones adapted from the Baked cookbook. Macaroons from the Joy Of Cooking, but I took 'em up a notch (bam!) and dipped them in melted chocolate.

Mexican Chocolate Brownies

2011-02-20T11:53:00.019-05:00

A cold winter's day was excuse enough to whip up a pan of brownies. I turned to the Ultimate Brownie Book for inspiration...

Mexican Chocolate Brownies, si! A perfect excuse to use some of the chocolate Mr. Homewrecker and I brought back from our honeymoon.

We spent part of our vacation in Oaxaca, a colonial city in the foothills of the Sierra Madre known as the culinary capitol of Mexico for its chilis and chocolate. We gorged ourselves on mole negro, mugs of hot chocolate, fresh string cheese and smoky mezcal. The only local specialty we didn't have the nerve to try were the popular snack chapulines -- spicy toasted grasshoppers.

We spent days wandering the stalls of the city's expansive mercados, browsing the sacks of nuts, chilis, chickens, live turkeys in sacks, cactus paddles, bootleg DVS, fresh bread and tons of CHOCOLATE.

Somehow customs let us back into the US with suitcases full of chocolate bars, dried chilis, powdered lime (for the ceramic cookware we bought) and Mexican oregano.

For the brownies, in a double boiler I melted down the Mexican chocolate bars, which have cinnamon, sugar and almonds blended in with the cacao nibs. I also added a tsp of chili powder to the recipe to give the brownies a little kick.

The resulting brownies were muy bueno. I just may have to return to Oaxaca to stock up on more chocolate soon.

Oh Craigslist...

2011-02-06T20:54:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I put some paper lanterns from our wedding up on Craigslist. Then this happened:

1:48am [text from stranger]: "Can I buy the lanterns tomorrow?"

Seriously? At 1:48am? I was already in bed, but not totally asleep, and since I was eager to sell the lanterns I wrote back:

1:57 am: "Yes you may. Please call or text anytime after 10am" [subtext: it's nearly 2am -- please leave me alone until 10am]

1:59am: "Cool! Where are you in Brooklyn?"

He or she continued to text me back two more times finally suggesting I walk a mile out of my way to meet him or her at the Atlantic Ave train station as it is on his or her way to work. What is the matter with people?

This is still not as crazy as the time I tried to sell a spare wedding dress on Craigslist only to end up in an attempted sceme to defraud me of a couple thousand dollars. When I caught wind of the situation, I started to play along by giving her a fake Western Union confirmation number and sending her to my "work address" -- a strip club way over on the west side of Manhattan.

I do think sometimes, however, about all the nice, seemingly normal people I've met over the years selling things on Craigslist, and I wonder where they are now and if, under different circumstances we could have been friends. The guy who worked at MTV and bought my headboard -- the same headboard I bought from a girl on Craigslist a few years earlier for $75 (and a $115 parking ticket). The girl who bought my kitchen chairs and struck up a convo about our shared hometown when she saw my Chicago flag tattoo. The girl who tried to carry a dozen cardboard boxes home on her bike when we put them on "curb alert." The guy who picked up six bags of charcoal from my office. The woman who was going to buy my George Foreman grill to send to her son in college, but then warned me that the scraped teflon was going to give us all cancer.

There's also the Craigslist roommates. The German girl working on a temporary visa. The blond girl from Florida who taught me to be streetsmart and whose brother chased a burglar out of the Williamsburg dive we called home at the time. The subletter who only stayed for a month and sat on the floor of my room listening to Nine Inch Nails with me. The Okie who we chose to live with based on little except that he wore a Pavement t-shirt, and who turned into a long time friend.

Late night text annoyances, parking tickets, fraud and general weirdos aside, Craigslist has been an endless source of not only great, cheap stuff, but interesting acquaintances.

Eff You and Your "Balance"

2011-01-17T08:57:00.007-05:00

Here is a selection of comments my female friends had to Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP newsletter about “finding a good balance between having a career and being a mom”...

"their habits upset me!"

"i first thought, oh, it's not that bad, but then the bits about getting a blow out, and having food delivered, and going out after your kids are in bed... totally vom."

"yikes. so self important. 'let me impart all of my wisdom upon you!'"

"It made me realize why the iPad was invented. For nut jobs who can't unplug long enough to do cardio with their personal trainers."

"Gah! I can't even read it. My first thought was...'ok, you get up between 5:30-6am for "ME" time which equates to working or wasting time doing social media, right? then you work out. Who the fuck gets up with your kids?? Like you have time to help your 3 year old get dressed before you make her sliced steel oats? Your nanny does it.'. Then I wanted to puke so I stopped reading. WOW! Thank god I'm not self-obsessed and a neurotic freak who has a personal trainer and food delivered. (unless it's Chinese and I'm high)"

That last remark was from a friend who actually has a small child and is very much in the midst of figuring out how to balance being a mom with being a wife and being, you know, herself. It's a challenge which is not terribly far down the road for me, now that I've got the wife role in action. And I have to say, I'm terrified to add the needs of a little person to the mix when I'm already struggling every day to balance my own happiness with my husband's happiness with the 1,000,000 things on my to-do list.

One of the reasons I started writing Home Sweet Homewrecker was to counteract the glut of blogs out there that celebrate the triumphs of being a homemaker, or a cook, or a crafter. Sure, I frequently celebrate the times I get it right -- because I need to remember those moments -- but I often write about the times I screw it all up. Just so everyone can remember that we're not all Martha Stewart (or Gwyneth Paltrow for that matter).

I was having an email chat with my girlfriends about this idea of "balance" recently. It started because of a blog link one of us had circulated on the topic which included this quote:

"The problem is, when you’re competent, you know how well you could play every part in your life."

That really struck home with me because I'm constantly feeling frustrated that I'm not able to create more, make more, write more, play more, cook more, read more, DO more. I know I could do so many things if I had unlimited time and resources. But the reality is, we just don't. The day is only so long, and it takes time to make things from scratch, and commute from your job, and wait for the laundry to dry, and the time just gets sucked away.

Unlike Gwyneth and her rich friends, most of us don't have personal assistants or trainers to keep us on track or take care of the little details. Still somehow I forget this when I don't get to see my friends as often as I'd like, and I get the false impression from Facebook that they are all raising well-adjusted babies and climbing mountains and baking fresh muffins and running successful etsy shops. So it was good to check in with my lady friends and discover that we all feel frustrated and under pressure, and we all are struggling to find balance in our busy lives, whether it's with kids, or husbands or as single women.

And why do we all feel this way? Because we are competent women! We are painfully aware of all that we could be doing.

After several emails where we all barred our new year anxieties, this was how one friend responded, and I couldn't agree more:

Holy shit ladies. You are all amazingly strong, talented and ambitious women. Reading through this chain gave me so many different emotions...and I feel weird saying that one of those was RELIEF. Relief in hearing that a group of women who I admire are not without their own anxieties and self-doubt. I guess that sort of thing is just a constant realization for me. I doubt myself and second-guess myself in nearly everything I do and I just need to be reminded that that is just another hurdle.

I hope some of you read this and can get a little perspective. We don't have to live up to any standards set by power celeb moms, only the standards we set for ourselves. And for christssake, it's ok to lower your standards a little. There's only 24 hours in the day to do "your best."

...anyway, as a nod to nurturing my atrophied creative side in 2011, I set up an etsy store this weekend. Not that I have time for that.

I Just Made The Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie

2011-01-02T13:36:00.004-05:00

Look at this cookie! Its circumference is perfect, the chocolate chips are evenly distributed, and yes, it was delicious. Finally after several failed holiday dessert attempts, I at least get this old classic right. Thank you, once again, Baked cookbook.

Burnt Brittle

2010-12-11T11:22:00.004-05:00

I decided to kick off my Christmas season cookie baking by trying something new this year, which actually wasn't cookies at all -- Bacon Peanut Brittle! I found the recipe on, of all places, the Mint.com blog, a blog which has nothing to do with lamb chops or mojitos, but rather personal budgeting. Bacon peanut brittle promised to be a low cost holiday treat, and while it didn't require any fancy ingredients, it did require some close attention.

This was my first time making brittle, or any kind of homemade candy, but everything was going smoothly -- I was fascinated to watch the corn syrup bubble and the heat on the candy thermometer rise... but apparently I was a little more fascinated by the scheme unfolding at the hands of Little J, Vanessa and Juliet on Gossip Girl to dethrone Serena as queen of the UES, because the candy got a little scorched in the saucepan.

That explains why it's so much darker than the photo on MyMansBelly.com. If you're the kind of person who likes their bacon extra crispy, or their drip coffee from Starbucks, you might still like my brittle. I know I'll still eat it. But maybe I'm best off sticking to safe standards like my Christmas Balls.

Sweet & Spicy Halloween

2010-10-30T22:45:00.004-05:00

Tried something sweet & spicy for this year's pumpkin seeds.

Caramelized Spicy Pumpkin Seeds from AllRecipes.com

I'm not sure I actually caramelized anything, but they are sweet and they are spicy and they are delicious!

Wedding Crafts & Gifts in Action

2010-10-27T20:24:00.004-05:00

Check it out, my DIY hair piece totally worked! And stayed put even during this serious dance party to Pulp's "Common People."

Following the wedding we took three days to just RELAX right here in Brooklyn. Good bye wedding diet! Hellooo egg creams...

We visited the MoMA where there is an exhibit called Counter Space: Design and the Modern Kitchen. Tupperware was featured prominently, and I was tickled to spy the very same popsicle molds I own, passed down from Mom and used in my popsicle test kitchen post last summer.

And while we made the rule not to touch the kitchen during our post-wedding staycation, Mr Homewrecker was super psyched to try out one of our wedding presents, a Moroccan-style tagine from the Brooklyn Kitchen. This is a photo of lamb shoulder tagine with apricots, chick peas and slivered almonds. Mmmm nom nom nom. Being married to a great cook rules!

DIY Wedding Wednesday: Crafts!

2010-10-06T16:23:00.000-05:00

Holy crap, it's only days until matrimony. Wedding crafts are in full swing and I wanted to just take a moment to share what I've been working on.

We wanted to give our guests some kind of personalized favor more unique than a baggie of chocolate almonds without spending a bundle. After seeing this blog post from Once Wed*, I got the idea to borrow the button maker at my office to make our own wearable favors. My friend Toby came over and we cut out something like 200 buttons from metallic paper printed on our home printer plus some abstract buttons made from scrapbooking paper that matched our color scheme. Cute, right?

After bookmarking several Etsy boutiques with feathered hair pieces for my maids, it occurred to me that I own a glue gun -- I can do this myself! Instead I bought "blank" hair combs and headbands from Etsy and glued on peacock feathers and silver embellishments. For my bride hair comb, I used bleached peacock feathers from Jamali Garden (a haven for DIY brides!) and added a 1950's vintage brooch I found at Pippin Vintage Jewelry in Manhattan. I'll share some more impressive photos after the pro takes pics at the wedding with our hair done did up.

Next? Glue several yards of silver decorative fringe onto my cardboard cupcake stand...

When you hear from me next, I'll be married -- wish us luck!!

*Footnote: I grabbed a lot of inspiration from Kim & Zac's wedding, whoever they are. I believe it's also where I got the idea to shop at Unique Vintage for my dress and where I got the idea to buy turquoise shoes. Which I did. Thanks Kim & Zac & Once Wed!

An Ode to Summer Sweets

2010-09-06T08:06:00.006-05:00

On this last unofficial day of summer, I felt it was time for an ode to summer desserts.

Earlier this summer I got a cherry pitter, a blogger gift from Cookware.com, an online source for every conceivable kitchen item be it a coffee maker or an ice cream scooper. After a sloppy but delicious attempt at apple pie, I decided for the cherry pie to try a more traditional pie crust recipe from Joy of Cooking that relied on vegetable shortening. While the fresh sweet cherry insides were delicious, and the pitter a huge help, I gotta say the crust was greasy, too salty, and even more impossible to roll out and cut than the recipe I used for the apple pie.

But the real problem was my lack of a proper pie pan. As you can see in the photo above, the disposable aluminum pan I used leaked all over, effectively fusing my cherry pie to my baking sheet. I'm pretty sure much of this pie was consumed with a spoon directly over the sink.

My next summer dessert endeavor was much more successful. Down in Red Hook, Brooklyn is a whimsical spot called Steve's Authentic Key Lime Pies. Steve's has these crazy delicious things called Swingles which are tart-sized key limes pies, dipped in dark chocolate and frozen on a stick.

[Pauses while you drool] Yeah, I know.

So when I received a set of tart pans as a wedding shower gift, the first thing I thought to bake was homemade Swingles. Luckily I found the actual Steve's Authentic key lime pie recipe on the Food Network's website, and it was surprisingly simple. Figuring out how to dip the tarts in dark chocolate, however, was much more challenging. Without a double boiler big enough to dip a whole tart into, I simply melted dark chocolate baking bars in the microwave and poured it over the top of the tarts, spreading it out with a rubber spatula. After freezing them for awhile, I flipped the pies and poured chocolate over the other side, then returned them to the freezer. Somehow it worked!

When I visited Steve's later in the summer, I realized that my Swingles were about 50% larger and I probably didn't need to melt an entire chocolate bar over each one, but hey, my decadent DIY Swingles sure made Mr. Homewrecker happy.

With the success of the Swingles, I confidently decided to wing it with another tart pan creation. My mom had given me a bag of rhubarb from her garden, so I improvised rhubarb blackberry tarts using the same graham cracker crust from the Steve's recipe. And whatta you know, it worked!

Of course no summer dessert ode would be complete without a nod to ice cream. And since I have not yet attempted to make my own, I would like to give a shout out to my favorite, local, hand-crafted ice cream -- Greene Ice Cream. Last summer the proprietors of The General Greene, a great restaurant in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, built an ice cream cart and started peddling kick ass Philadelphia-style (eggless) ice cream made in small batches from seasonal ingredients. Locals rave about the Salted Carmel Pretzel and I'm crazy for the Bitter Chocolate Mint. If you are ever in the neighborhood, run don't walk to The General Greene before ice cream season is over!

Bidding farewell to summer is as bittersweet as those Swingles, because the only thing I love more than summer treats, are the pumpkin and spice desserts of fall. Keep an eye out for another product review from Cookware.com or another of the CSN network of online shops -- perhaps it's time for a proper pie pan.

Crazy Bird Lady

2010-08-21T21:57:00.004-05:00

Someone please buy this adorable bird vase. Because I already own something north of five ceramic birds, and I don't want to become that "crazy bird lady" at 30.

On sale for only $10 from ethanollie this weekend on Etsy.

Just in Time

2010-08-14T17:44:00.007-05:00

The new apartment decorating has come along. Above is the living room with our new Howard Miller wall clock, a gift from the folks at CSN Stores -- an online one-stop-shop for everything from bedroom furniture sets to the kitchen sink. Literally. We love the simple and modern, yet traditional, look of the clock. It also has a special feature which resets the clock for daylight savings so you don't have to, but to be honest it made setting the clock to begin with a real chore. Check out the clock here.

We updated our living room, which featured a plastic folding table and a stereo on milkcrates, with a Formica dining table and funky mid-century lamp from Junk and a vintage cabinet from the Brooklyn Flea. Visitors always ask, "What's with the 14?" The "14" above the couch is a piece of found art, if you will, which Mr. Homewrecker picked up from a TV set he was working on. Not sure what its original purpose was, but it's made of some kind of frosty plexiglass and it looks striking on our wall. Now all we need before my parents come visit next weekend is an arm chair and a new rug. Something to really tie the room together.

DIY Wedding Wednesday: We Wed Econo

2010-08-04T22:28:00.004-05:00

I've started reading Michael Azerrad's book Our Band Could Be Your Life about the emergence of indie and punk rock in the 1980's, and I was reading the chapter about The Minutemen on the subway on my way home from work today. I'm still not sure I actually dig The Minutemen's herky jerky, weirdo music all that much, but I have mad respect for their attitude when it came to being in a band. No sense of entitlement, no egos, just a crazy work ethic and dedication to D.I.Y. and touring and releasing records as affordably as possible -- "jamming econo" as they called it.

That's my kind of guys.

I found myself thinking about The Minutemen again tonight as I'm hand-gluing together all the invitations for our wedding. The invitations we designed ourselves with paper we bought from a wholesaler and printed at a local copy shop. It's not unlike self-releasing a 7" or printing up your own show flyers. Just like The Minutemen realized they didn't need to wait for some almighty hand to reach down and make them rock stars like Journey or CCR, they could just Do It Yourself. And they did. So it was with us as we priced out all the professional stationers out there, we realized we could save a thousand bucks if we just got creative.

We wed econo!

photo nabbed from marathonpacks.com

D.I.Y. Wedding Wednesday: Summer Wedding Decor

2010-07-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

While I'm still at work on our D.I.Y. wedding creations, I wanted to share some awesome design from some friends' recent nuptials. Above is a photo I stole from Facebook from my friend Valerie's backyard wedding. How cute are her "I'm a Fan of Valerie & Matt" fans?

Last month we escaped upstate for our friends' Hillary & Dan's Catskills wedding. Everything from the Save the Dates to the signature cocktails were perfectly coordinated hues of pink with brown and green accents. Hillary and our friends made dozens of tissue paper flowers which adored every corner of the venue (a Dirty Dancing-esque Ukrainian summer camp!), they glued fortunes on old timey soda straws plus many other creative touches that made for a very beautiful, personalized celebration.

Our talented friend Melissa, aka Cake Hero, outdid herself with a delicious collection of flower-topped wedding cakes.

Less than three months to our wedding, my decor planning -- and better yet, my SHOPPING -- is is full swing. I ordered a shipment of feathers and vases from Save-On-Crafts, an online wonderland of wedding D.I.Y. Of course I somehow shattered one of three 20" vases as I was unpacking it, but the fine people at Save-On-Crafts graciously agreed to send a replacement. I've also been making trips to the wholesale floral district for arm loads of willow branches (which I carried on my head back to my office where they are currently making my cubicle a willowy jungle) and taking lunch breaks at Paper Presentation to hem and haw over thank you cards and decorative paper from the scrapbooking section. Oh how Martha Stewart I could get on this wedding if I only had a little more time, budget and patience with pinking shears and glue sticks.

I got bridal-showered by friends and family in Chicago, which was a truly lovely event. I received about two suitcases worth of bath towels, steak knives, an iron skillet and a stone mortar and pestle, amongst other things. Needless to say, getting back on the plane was a challenge. I'm also the idiot who thought to put an ironing board on our registry, not considering how someone would manage to gift wrap it, let alone tote it to or from a shower or wedding. Nevertheless, I'm psyched to finally have a proper surface on which to iron. I might actually have to start ironing (crap!).

Next D.I.Y. wedding project? Invites designed my Mr. Homewrecker! Lots of gluing and envelope licking in our near future...

Where Pies Go When They Die

2010-06-29T23:06:00.006-05:00

While Mr. Homewrecker has been busy rearranging the house plants every day, I've been making myself at home in the new apartment by getting friendly with the oven. Perhaps not the best activity in 90 degree heat...

But I simply had to have pie after watching (20 years late) the Twin Peaks series! Pie and some good, hot, black coffee.

Even though my apple pie looked sort of effed up, it tasted damn good. Especially my homemade crust which tasted a bit like shortbread. Apparently the trick in making a successful pie crust is in keeping the dough chilled, but I managed to create a sticky, lumpy disaster zone nonetheless. If anyone has any pie crust tips to get the dough thinner without it becoming too warm or sticky, please tell me. Perhaps tip #1 would be, don't try to bake a pie in 90 degree heat.

Still, results = delicious, if not attractive. Next I will try my hand at Twin Peaks Cherry Pie, especially now that the fine people at CSN Stores have hooked me up with a time-saving pitter!

Don't Get Caught With Your Plants Down

2010-06-22T07:32:00.003-05:00

Almost as if the gods of homemaking were listening (as opposed to the imps of homewrecking who live under my bed with the dust bunnies), I received an offer this week from the good folks over at the CSN network of shopping sites. Magically aware of my need for some new, affordable housewares for the new apartment, they have offered to send me a new clock to adorn the big empty space above our charming-yet-not-functional brick fireplace. Pics of the clock and the living room coming soon as we start to deck out the place.

Meanwhile, the bathroom and bedroom are almost totally put together! Mr. Homewrecker painted the bedroom a pleasing shade of tan and painstakingly restored the beautiful molding to its proper glossy white.

Rather than fight the super yellow bathroom, I embraced it with some coordinating yellow totes from Target mixed with some dark brown baskets. We also took a cue from home & food blogger A Hawk From a Handsaw and disguised the exposed sink pipes with a snake plant. Smart!

Now Mr. Homemaker has been on mission: PLANTS filling every window with green leafy things. He spray painted mismatched pots black to coordinate in the sunny bathroom window.

While I wait for my awesome new wall clock, check out CSN's 200+ specialized shopping sites -- everything from waterbeds to tailgating supplies!

Warm Weather Recipes: Lemon & Rhubarb

2010-06-08T20:58:00.011-05:00

With the onset of warm weather here in Brooklyn, and in celebration of a kitchen finally unpacked from the move, this past week I've whipped up two refreshingly fruity treats. Finding rhubarb was a challenge though. Not typically found at grocery stores, I had to trek down to the neighborhood farmer's market -- normally not a big deal, but challenging as I recently underwent foot surgery and am only days out of wearing a surgical boot. But dammit I limped down there, and just when I thought no one had my sought after stalks, the last vendor in the row (a meat vendor, oddly) had a pile at $4 a pound. Success! On to the cooking...

LEMON SQUARES

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for pan
1/2 cup confectioners' sugar, plus more for dusting
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled)
4 large egg yolks
1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
3/4 cup fresh lemon juice (from about 3 lemons)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter an 8-inch square baking pan. Line bottom with parchment paper, leaving an overhang on two sides; butter paper.
Make crust: Using an electric mixer, beat butter, sugar, and salt until light and fluffy. Add flour, and mix on low just until combined. Press dough into the bottom and 1/2 inch up sides of prepared pan; prick all over with a fork. Bake until lightly golden, 15 to 20 minutes.
Make filling: In a large bowl, whisk together yolks, condensed milk, and lemon juice until smooth. Pour over hot crust in pan; return to oven, and bake until filling is set, 25 to 30 minutes. Cool completely in pan.
Refrigerate until filling is firm, about 2 hours or up to 3 days. Using paper overhang, lift cake onto a work surface; cut into 16 squares, and dust with confectioners sugar.

Recipe from Martha Stewart's Everyday Food

HSHW Notes: This turned out awesome, and Mr. Homewrecker was super impressed saying they were the best lemon squares he'd ever had! The crust, however, took way longer than 20 minutes to bake. Maybe 40 minutes in all. Not sure if it's the recipe or if my new oven is wimpy. Ditto for the filling -- I left it in an extra 10-15 minutes. Never got around to removing them from the pan to cut into squares. We just keep cutting pieces out of the dish and eating them immediately.

I swear I'm going to save a few for the upstairs neighbors who are letting us share their internet. Right after I eat one more...

PORK WITH RHUBARB COMPOTE AND LEMONY ORZO

Pork ingredients:

6 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1 1/2 tablespoons ground black pepper
1 tablespoon salt
2 teaspoons dried rubbed sage
2 teaspoons fennel seeds, ground in spice mill or in mortar with pestle
2 1/2 pounds pork tenderloins (about 2 large or 3 medium), trimmed of fat and sinew
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

Rhubarb ingredients:

3 cups 1-inch pieces fresh rhubarb (from about 1 pounds)
3/4 cups sugar
1/4 cup water

How To:

First the rhubarb: Combine all ingredients in heavy large saucepan. Bring to boil, stirring until sugar dissolves. Reduce heat to medium-low; simmer until rhubarb is very soft and begins to fall apart, stirring occasionally, about 20 minutes. Transfer compote to medium bowl. Refrigerate uncovered until cold, about 3 hours. (Can be prepared 2 days ahead. Cover and keep chilled.) Serve cold.

Then the meat: Mix 3 tablespoons olive oil, ground black pepper, salt, dried sage, and ground fennel in small bowl. Rub oil mixture all over pork tenderloins; place in large baking dish and let stand 20 minutes.

Heat remaining 3 tablespoons oil in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork and cook until browned on all sides, about 6 minutes. Reduce heat to medium; cover and cook until instant-read thermometer inserted into center of pork registers 150°F, turning pork occasionally, about 8 minutes longer for medium tenderloins and 10 minutes for large.

Transfer pork to cutting board; let rest 5 minutes. Cut pork crosswise into 1/2-inch-thick slices; arrange on platter. Sprinkle with parsley; garnish with sage sprigs. Serve with Rhubarb Compote & orzo seasoned with lemon zest and chopped parsley.

Recipes from Epicurious.

HSHW Notes: I was making the pork dish for a food swap with several lady friends, so Mr. Homewrecker advised I make thinly cut, bone-in chops instead so they wouldn't dry out before people got to eat them. I'm not sure if it really made a difference or not, but I gave it a shot. The only real change to the recipe was frying the chops for 3-4 min on each side -- which was a time saver in the end.

There's a shot of my meals ready for swapping. After trading, I came home with a spicy shrimp dish, sesame noodles with poached chicken, a lemony rice and chicken dish and a couple other great summery meals I'll be enjoying all week. Sharing rules! Best of all, the swap hostess has a beautiful roof deck where we sipped Prosecco, munched on grilled garlic scapes, fought to keep one guest's dog from flopping off the roof, and enjoyed a late spring NYC sunset.

Plus she has a box of kittens that need adopting -- come on, you know you want one:

Here's to summer time cooking, baking, grilling and to cute kittens!

Intensely Disappointing

2010-05-23T13:40:00.006-05:00

For those who read this blog, you know that I may be sarcastic and self deprecating and frequently poke fun at the stupidity I observe out there. However, those who actually know me would probably say that I'm polite and understanding, perhaps to a fault. I wouldn't call myself a doormat, but I am prone to give people the benefit of the doubt way more than anyone deserves.

And that is why the experience I had with our apartment move last week makes me feel so crazy. I got terrible service from an otherwise highly recommended moving company, and then the manager of the company put the blame on me! Naturally I felt depressed by this situation and spent hours wondering if he was right -- was it really all my fault? Maybe by sharing the story with you, I will clear my conscience and find out from your comments where to place the blame.

Let me start by listing what went wrong:

> the move took six hours to move a 2BR apt 10 blocks
> the movers let our belongings pile up on the sidewalk, quickly irritating our new landlord
> they broke my lamp
> they left behind a piece of hardware for our bed, which my fiance had to go back to retrieve at midnight just so we could assemble our bed to go to sleep
> they LOST MY COFFEE TABLE

There's other things too that may or may not be their handiwork -- a snag on the love seat, a ding in the bookcase -- which could have been avoided had they wrapped or protected our furniture more carefully. But even just losing my coffee table alone was enough to make me want money back, payback, revenge even.

I called the next morning to complain. The manager wanted to know what kind of coffee table, what kind of bed hardware, as if a description would explain why these items did not make it to our new home. He said he would get back to me. This was not the reaction I wanted. Shortly thereafter we discovered the cracked lamp, at which point Mr. Homewrecker got on the phone to give Intense Movers a piece of his mind. After what seemed like a lot of unnecessary arguing, the movers offered us a $40 refund. Hardly even the cost of the coffee table.

So why, you may wonder, was I being told this way MY fault? The truth is, I underestimated how many boxes we were going to have to move. I accurately itemized our furniture, appliances and musical equipment to Intense Movers over email and estimated "15 to 20 boxes" for the rest -- the clothes, the books, the CDs, the towels, the blankets, the shoes, the pot and pans, the etc etc etc that filed our closets and cupboards. In the end it was more like 6o boxes, though most of no more than three cubic feet. I mentioned to Intense Movers on the phone a few days before the move that I thought I may have more boxes than originally thought, and I assumed that would be enough of a warning. At worst maybe they would charge me a fee for the additional stuff -- which they did. Fine.

Now I've hired movers in the past. They didn't ask for a super specific inventory in advance, just a rough idea and a number of rooms being moved. They came prepared to deal with whatever that actually means in terms of boxes. It seems absurd to me that I am the first person in the history of Intense moves who underestimated how many boxes she would have. Once you start upending dressers and digging out closets, it can be shocking how much crap you've crammed in there. But the manager of Intense Movers told me that they've never had this problem before. Really?!

So Intense Movers showed up for my move with only two dudes and a smaller-than-needed truck. I didn't mind that they had to go back for a bigger truck, and I was patient as they slowly moved all our stuff into the truck. I had expected better service for my money, but as I said, benefit of the doubt and all. I just let them do their thing. Plus they were cool guys. Nice guys about my age; a musician and a stand up comedian. White guys from hipster Brooklyn. Guys I'd probably hang out with.

Problem is, "nice" and "cool" a good mover does not make.

The last time I moved, I hired three Russian guys. They loaded my stuff onto their truck faster than I could sweep up after them, protecting my furniture in a tornado of plastic wrap and moving blankets and hoisting things onto their massive backs with inhuman strength. But I gave Intense Movers a shot this time because a friend thought they did a great job with her last move -- being extra careful with her vinyl collection, and related skills hipster movers are expected to have. And yeah, they were careful with Mr. Homewreckers drums, but while they were busy texting about band practice, someone walked off with my coffee table. FAIL.

When I called the manager again the next day to smooth things over and see if I could squeeze more of a refund out of him, he was borderline hostile towards me. I politely owned up to the underestimate of boxes, I allowed for the six hour move, the extra fee -- fine. I wasn't particularly mad about that (disappointed, yes; mad, whatever). But I could not see how losing and breaking my furniture was OK. In his opinion, however, if I had accurately estimated my boxes none of that would have happened. Whaaaa? I mean, sure, if a third guy had been there maybe he would have been standing on the sidewalk in that moment when the culprit walked off with my table. Maybe. Or maybe he would have been texting about band practice too.

In the end I talked them into refunding me a whopping $80, which I have yet to receive. And I swore to destroy them via social media and word-of-mouth. Therefore I ask you to consider when you read reviews of Intense Movers saying they are "cool" and "nice" if that is going to make your move a success as much as "careful" and "efficient" would.

Now that I've explained the entire situation, tell me (if you are still reading) -- am I to blame? Am I crazy for wanting money back, for wanting an apology, for wanting to write negative reviews?

Or is it as simple as LOST/BROKEN STUFF = JOB POORLY DONE?

**UPDATE - June 14, 2010**

After my prolific web bitching about Intense Movers, the owner Matt (who, I stand corrected, is not the guy I dealt with on the phone) called to talk about the situation. I appreciate him taking the time to do so, because really what upset me most was the way Alex (the guy I DID talk to on the phone) handled things. On my end -- lesson learned not to assume that movers will be prepared for the size of my move, in particular flat rate movers, so I should be more accurate in setting up the move to avoid the situation we had last month. On their end -- I hope they've learned not to trust the amateur estimates of their clients and to always send at least three guys to move anything bigger than a studio apt. That would be my advice anyway. That and dealing with unsatisfied customers a little more delicately.

Thank you Matt for the call, and I'm sorry Mr. Homewrecker gave you an earfull. For as much as I've griped here, I don't know how you do it -- heavy lifting all day + dealing with stressed out people like us.

A Rose for Don Corleone

2010-05-13T19:29:00.007-05:00

Ok, I'm a day behind on "DIY Wedding Wednesday," but I've been busy packing up the apartment for another move. It will be the 4th home in as many years, but this time we're really planning to settle in, getting married and all. Count on some HSW decor updates soon.

But for now, I'm back with another wedding planning post. I've been exploring the options for DIY wedding bouquets and flower arrangements, and wanted to share some advice and resources.

As you may know, NYC has no shortage of fresh flowers for sale at on almost every block at corner bodegas and neighborhood markets. We even have a wholesale flower district as one user on on the Brownstoner forum tells us: "There are still a few flower markets left in 27th & 28th street between 6th and 7th ave in Manhattan - good deals for bulk." Another user offers advice on hydrangeas, my wedding flower of choice, "to keep hydrangea going for more than 12 hours, you have to smash the stem when you get them home. take a hammer or something heavy and smash the stem. they need that much water. next day, cut and repeat. keep in fridge overnight helps too." Good to know if you are going the DIY route.

My fav wedding craft and decor site Save-On-Crafts has several guides on how to make your own bouquets plus all the supplies you'll need: satin ribbon, floral tape, corsage pins, etc.

After poking around on wedding forums like Indiebride.com, it sounds like mail-order bulk flowers are a good option for the crafty bride too. I have scoped out a couple like fiftyflowers.com and rosesource.com and I think this might be the way to go. No need to run an errand to the flower district -- the flowers come to you!

Has anyone out there tried mail-order bulk flowers before? Let me know your experiences and recommendations. I think I'm going to be going with Rose Source based on customer reviews, their prices and the fact that they can ship the exact pale yellow rose my husband-to-be is requesting. It's hilarious to me the wedding things he decides to have a strong opinion on. Like, I didn't think boutonnieres would be one, but he got this idea that he wants to look just like Don Corleone on the day of his daughter's wedding with a single rose on his lapel which he can sniff dramatically. Only the rose will be yellow, not red, because that's the color he chose for our wedding palate when he got a bee in his bonnet about wanting a pale yellow necktie. What a weirdo, I'm so psyched to be marrying him!

Finally, I wanted to share this great group of images I found on RuffledBlog.com showing single stem flowers on display in all variety of vintage bottles and vases. Those yellow roses will look beautiful in the bottles I've been collecting, like in the photo on the lower right.

To order your wholesale flowers -- from Alstroemeria to Zinnia (ok, not zinnia, but tulips, yes they have tulips) -- click here to visit Rose Source:

Wedding Cake Toppers That Should Not Be

2010-05-02T10:59:00.003-05:00

Oh hell no.

The 'Bride "In Charge" Wearing Pants and Groom "Not In Charge" Without Cake Topper' is so not okay:

And then these ones I have no problem with, except that instead of calling it what it is, it's the "Fashionable Bride And Groom Mix & Match Cake Toppers."

I guess "mix and match" is a cute euphemism for gay marriage.

These and many more wedding accessories -- some stupid, some perfectly adorable -- can be found at Wedding Star.

DIY Wedding Wednesday: On the Cheap

2010-03-24T19:33:00.007-05:00

Yesterday in a thread I was following on Yelp regarding where to find affordable wedding dresses in NYC, some bonehead dude had the nerve to chime in as follows:

John Q. said, "Any woman who wears a dress that cost less than a thousand bucks deserves to be left at the altar."

Everyone please join me in a collective HOW DARE YOU?!?! to John Q. I don't expect he's headed to the altar any time soon with an attitude like that. Also his profile pic is a pint of beer, so I'm sure he's really hot too.

Therefore, for today's DIY Wedding Wednesday update I thought I'd highlight some of the ways I'm getting creative to stretch our modest wedding budget. Because despite what John Q thinks, you can have a very tasteful, beautiful, and fun celebration without paying the going rate for everything that the Wedding Industrial Complex demands. The toughest part is managing the funds to feed and get-drunk a crowd of friends and family. Unless you plan to invite only your immediate family and your one best friend, once you open up the guest list the costs go up quickly. Since we don't want to limit our party to just our parents and my dozen Mormon relatives (hey at least they won't drain the bar), my philosophy is don't skimp on the food and drinks but search for savings on the things you only need to buy one of. ie: the dress.

THE DRESS

Some girls buy two dresses -- one for the ceremony, and another for the reception. Me, I bought three! Ok, so I'm only keeping one, but I needed to try them all on. I found two contenders online at Unique-Vintage.com, a vintage-inspired store based out of Burbank, CA. They specialize in pin-up girl style, prom dresses and super frilly Barbie doll quincenera-looking gowns. But they also have a great selection of perfectly tasteful wedding dresses with vintage flare. Since the groom and I intend to ride bikes from the church to the reception, I also am saving money by getting a tea-length dress (less fabric!). My third dress I picked up at a sample sale at the Jenny Yoo showroom in Manhattan. Jenny Yoo has a great selection of simple and elegant wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses, so even without sample sale prices, her designs are affordable. The dresses I'm not keeping I can unload at OnceWed.com's used wedding dress forum. Easy!

THE CEREMONY

We've recruited a good friend to be our "minister" since any speech about the meaning of our love will mean more coming from someone who actually knows just why we're meant to be together forever. Instead of someone who is paid to act like they care. I'm also planning to make all my own bouquets (see my last Wedding Wednesday post) to get around the high price of professional florists. I just need to be ready to work with whatever is fresh and available in the flower district the day before the wedding.

THE RECEPTION

My groom and I both grew up being told we were "different" (or when someone was being nice, "creative"), so of course we won't stand to have a pre-packaged wedding. We checked out the standard banquet halls and popular venues but settled on a raw loft space that we can build out however we want. Sure that means 100x more work for us, but undaunted I've made a list of what we need to rent (which is everything), and we've started thinking up ways to decorate that will be more "us" than copious fleur de lis and ice sculptures. I've found a jackpot of decorating supplies at Save-On-Crafts -- willow branches, peacock feathers, glass crystal garlands -- and I refuse to let DIY wedding equal barn themed decor, no matter how trendy twine, mason jars and burlap seem to be on the wedding scene right now. Yuck.

As for the food, we're forgoing the usual special event caterers and going instead for catering-style delivery from our favorite grocery store, Fairway. Just as delicious without the pretense or the hidden fees. Working with a non-traditional party space means we aren't strapped to a limited list of vendors, so we're getting my favorite cupcakes from Baked (much cheaper than their custom wedding cakes) for which my dad is building a decorative tower, and we're staffing the whole affair with a mix of licensed freelancers and talented friends.

One more cost-saving tip for the reception -- offer wine, beer and a signature cocktail or two instead of a full open bar. You'll buy less mixers and less varied booze, and you can make it fun by naming the signature drinks after something inspired by the bride and groom. I'm still coming up with mine, but the groom's is going to be the "Rock n Rye" which is a beer and a shot of whiskey. We can also save on champagne by serving its bubbly, Italian cousin Prosecco instead.

INVITATIONS

I'll blog more about these once I get involved in the actual creation, but we've already picked out colors, fonts and an illustration. Now it's off to the local stationery store to pick out the paper and envelopes. We're skipping the RSVP cards because they are wasteful of paper and they are an added expense. Instead guests will be directed to our Tumblr page (free) where they can RSVP via Google form (also free). The old folks who fear the web can always phone us from their land lines with their reply. Our save the dates, or STDs as I like to call them, cost us a whopping $36 including shipping for 100 custom postcards from VistaPrint.com. They aren't fancy, but they are adorable and informative, and we'd rather spend the big bucks on the "real" invite and not blow our load on the STDs (hahaha).

More money saving wedding tips as I come up with them!

Laziest Chocolate Cake EVER

2010-02-22T15:59:00.004-05:00

I may need to try this.

DIY Wedding Wednesday: Flowers and Floorplans

2010-01-13T21:32:00.012-05:00

There's just SO much to do before the wedding this October, I thought it would be best if I broke down the to-do list by month, and if nothing else, at least got one wedding thing done every Wednesday.

Truth is I got a few things done this week including procuring a floor plan of the loft space where we're having our reception and tracking down the bride having her wedding there the day after ours. I figured if we both need to rent a hundred chairs and tables and votive holders etc etc etc, maybe we can save a few bucks by sharing some items. She was thrilled I contacted her. My thriftiness is so catchy.

Since today is my newly dubbed "Wedding Wednesday" (not to be confused with "Tecate Tuesdays" at the office), I went to the fancy deli on my lunch break and picked up some pale blue hydrangeas and baby's breath so I could start toying with floral arrangements.

In my opinion, floral arrangements are one of the biggest rip offs when it comes to weddings. If you have even a slight knack for design, or if you are able to mimic photos of bouquets you like, you can make your own bouquets and arrangements. It's not like sewing your own dress or baking your own cake. Flowers are already pretty; all you have to do is group them. Granted the DIY approach is best if you are going for something simple or for an earthy wildflower look. I don't want to totally discount the talents of a skilled florist.

That said, you also don't want to be fussing with flowers the day before your wedding and find out you're going about it all wrong. Practice. Also that's not my finished arrangement above on the left, that's just flowers in a vase. I'll practice making them look like the Real Simple photo on the right later, but first, I wanted to start playing with this...

Last weekend I attended the Brooklyn Based Wedding Crashers fair where I got buzzed on free Prosecco (Italy's more affordable answer to Champagne), stuffed my face with canapes and met with a couple dozen of Brooklyn's hippest wedding vendors. I'm not a girly girl in the traditional sense, but this event had just the right amount of quirk and class that it didn't take me long to start cooing over cupcakes and custom letterpress coasters. But I digress...

I got some really good ideas from the vendors at the fair, whether I'll be able to afford to pay them for their talents or if I'll attempt my own knock off in the end. One florist had a beautiful willow branch arrangement decorated with "crystal" beads and blue feathers (stealing that idea), vintage glass bottles with baby's breath (see my attempt above) and beautiful, simple hydrangea bouquets (I can do that). So that was the inspiration for today's Wedding Wednesday as well as this Style Me Pretty post I came across a few months ago.

I started collecting vintage glass bottles at the Brooklyn Flea and from awesome second-hand shop Junk when I saw that post. I figure I'll create groupings of three or four bottles with either baby's breath or single stem dahlias. No paper pom poms or anything with yarn though. This ain't gonna be a barn wedding, this is BROOKLYN.

Bigger Balls

2010-01-05T22:31:00.003-05:00

What can I say... I got lazy near the end.

You may also be wondering why I've been writing so much this past year about desserts and baked goods. No, I've not given up on balanced meals. I just happen to have scored a husband-to-be who is an amazing cook and totally kicks my ass in the kitchen. And I'm no slouch, so that's really saying something. Meanwhile, he leaves the baking to me so I'm happy to be in charge of cookies and pies from now on.

Baking aside, expect wedding D.I.Y. ideas coming down the Home Sweet Homewrecker pipeline soon as we're planning one heck of a hands-on celebration!

Christmas Balls!

2009-12-21T00:37:00.005-05:00

Happy Holidays everyone! I wanted to share with you my favorite Christmas cookie recipe -- Christmas Balls. Of course I can't talk about delicious Christmas balls without channeling the SNL sketch with Alec Baldwin showing off his Schweddy Balls on NPR. Trust me, bake these balls and you won't be able to wait to get them in your mouth too!

Christmas Balls

1 c. butter 2 t. vanilla
1/3 c. sugar
2 t. water or milk
2 c. sifted all-purpose flour
1 c. chopped pecans (chop 'em pretty small)
thin confectioners frosting (about 3/4 c. powdered sugar + 1-2 T. milk)
coconut or colored sugar

Cream butter and vanilla; add sugar, creaming the mixture until light and fluffy. Blend in water. Stir in flour, mixing well. Add pecans. Shape in 1" balls. Bake 1" apart on ungreased cookie sheet in 325 degree oven. Bake 20 min. or until firm to the touch. Cool before removing from pan. Frost with conf. frosting and coat with coconut or with red and green colored sugar.

I decided to bake Christmas Balls yesterday when the first blizzard of the season had me holed up indoors, relishing wearing my jammies all day. Turned out I had all the necessary ingredients for balls except for 1 cup of pecans. Rats! I tore apart the cabinet looking for some kind of nutty stand-in, and luckily I came across the remains of a stash of "Culinary Touch" nut mixes sent my way by the fine folks at Fisher Nuts. These blends, intended to "add delicious flavor to any dessert or meal" were about to do just that. Fisher's pecan, cranberry, orange blend seemed like it would work, and perhaps even improve my balls.

Whatta you know, the touch of cranberry and orange made my favorite Christmas cookies even more delicious. Didn't even think it was possible! It took me awhile to find a use for the Fishers Culinary Touch blend, and this was the perfect occasion.

Pumpkin Cheesecake

2009-12-19T16:14:00.004-05:00

In my last post I was prepping for Thanksgiving, hosting for the first time! Everything went great, the parents were pleased and delighted to meet one another, though we barely made it through cheesecake and boardgames before passing out from exhaustion.

I can't take too much credit though. While my main man did most of the cooking, I merely handled the clementine cranberry sauce and the pumpkin cheesecake. Thank you to my friend Nancy who suggested an alternate recipe from Smitten Kitchen which I actually ended up making for the big feast. I tried Martha's the weekend before as practice, but it never quite solidified in the middle. It did however make a delicious dip for ginger cookies!

That said, next time I think I will combine both recipes and make Martha Stewart's cake (baked somewhat longer) with the pecan crust from Smitten Kitchen and the sour cream frosting. It will be the ultimate pumpkin cheesecake!!!

So I know Thanksgiving was about a month ago, but do you think it's ok for me to eat the last 3 slices of cheesecake still hanging out in the fridge?

Thanksgiving Dress Rehearsal

2009-11-18T21:05:00.006-05:00

With two sets of parents coming to our tiny Brooklyn apartment for Thanksgiving, we set up the table tonight to make sure we could wedge it between the coffee table and the entertainment center. We're also stock piling the traditional provisions, as you can see above.

I'm going to try my hand at my first ever cheesecake with this Pumpkin Cheesecake recipe from Martha. Got the springform pan and everything. Wish me luck! If it fails I'm gonna feel like our rotting Halloween pumpkin here.

Pumpkin Quinoa Muffins

2009-10-15T07:46:00.003-05:00

It's fall, and that means it's time for my favorite seasonal treats -- pumpkin treats! To kick off the baking season, I reasoned that muffins would be a healthy treat if I stuffed them full of protein-rich quinoa. Try this recipe for a healthy-ish, pumpkin-y breakfast. I found it on The Daily Green. I also made my own pumpkin pie spice and substituted vinegar+milk for buttermilk:

PUMPKIN QUINOA MUFFINS

SERVINGS
Makes 12 muffins

INGREDIENTS
1 1/4 cups whole wheat pastry flour
3/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cups quinoa, cooked and drained
2 eggs
3/4 cup unsweetened canned pumpkin
1/2 cup buttermilk
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 cup shelled sunflower seeds or pepitas

PREPARATION
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Oil or butter a 12-cup muffin tin or line with muffin tin liners.

2. In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, pie 3. spice, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add the quinoa, separating the grains with a fork to distribute evenly.

3. In another bowl, beat the eggs, then add the pumpkin, buttermilk, butter, and vanilla extract. Whisk until the mixture is smooth. Gradually stir into the dry ingredients until just incorporated.

4. Spoon the batter into muffin tins and sprinkle sunflower seeds on top of each muffin. Bake for about 30 minutes, or until the muffins are browned around edges and a tester comes out clean. Let the muffins rest for 5 minutes, then turn them out onto a wire rack to cool.

Popsicle Test Kitchen

2009-09-04T11:35:00.002-05:00

With the last sweaty month of summer beating down on NYC, it was perfect weather for popsicles. Inspired by the People's Pops (pictured above) who have been selling their local ingredient-made pops at Brooklyn Flea and other neighborhood spots this summer, I set out to try my own hand at freezing up some treats.

First I went with an old standby that Mom and I used to make when I was a kid. Yogurt pops. I distributed a couple heaping spoonfuls of Stonyfield Farm's strawberry low-fat yogurt into six popsicle forms and with small chunks of fresh strawberry mixed in. Verdict? Delicious, and relatively guilt free!

My second popsicle project was a recipe I found via ReadyMade Magazin e. I had some trouble making the two layers of semi sweet and super sweet coffee work with my particular popsicle forms, but it worked out in the end despite lots of sticky condensed milk and coffee squirted all over my kitchen. If I did these again, I would omit the less-sweet layer. Sure the two-toned pop looks cute, but I found myself racing through the icy and somewhat watery dark layer to get to the extra sweet bottom layer.

Try this one for yourself here: Vietnamese iced coffee pops on Cookbook Catchall

Finally I decided to see if I could replicate the delicious watermelon mint pops that People's Pop were selling at the Flea. I harvested mint from my sprawling window mint plant -- the only thriving plan in my apartment -- and set to work blending it with watermelon chunks in my food processor.

The results were pretty good, though if I did it again I would strain the blended watermelon first and then add the mint so as to omit any extra seeds or stringy bits that snuck by me.

People's Pops are still supreme, perhaps due to the sheer pleasure of enjoying them in the hot sun instead of my own kitchen. Some things are best enjoyed outside of the home.

When a Problem Comes Along, You Must Whip It

2009-09-04T11:22:00.002-05:00

Need a rug to tie the room together? No problem. Now you can adorn your floors with the artwork of songwriter and Devo man Mark Mothersbaugh.

"They'll cover a hole on the floor; you can sweep things beneath them. You don't have to feel reverential about the artwork. You can walk on it. You can do your prayers on it if that's your predilection. And there are many ways to get rug burn on it." - Mark Mothersbaugh, about his rugs on nowherelimited.com

Visit Nowhere Limited to purchase you own limited edition rugs. But hurry while it's not too late, to whip it, whip it good...

Blueberries, Blueberries, Blueberries!

2009-08-08T11:31:00.005-05:00

After a bountiful harvest of blueberries last weekend in the Berkshires -- FIVE pounds of hand-picked berries in fact -- I had to figure out what to do with it all.

Maybe eating pie and cake all week isn't the best way to keep my girlish figure in shape, but since blueberries are a miraculous wonderfruit antioxidant, that makes it ok, right?

Right!

BLUEBERRY STREUSEL PIE

I turned to EatingWell.com for a less-guilty pie recipe that uses extra lemon zest for sweetness and instant tapioca vs cornstarch. The results were citrusy and delicious, albeit a little soupy.

What I am most proud of, however, is my first ever homemade pie crust!

BOYFRIEND'S MOM'S BLUEBERRY CAKE

How do I win over my boyfriend's heart just a little more? By baking a kick-ass version of his mom's own cake recipe. Of course this could go badly should I not quite stack up to Mom...

Phew! Thankfully I passed with flying colors. Here's this family recipe so you too can impress your boyfriends. I also amazed my intern Pete, who after two months in NYC away from home was probably really thrilled to have something home baked.

1/2 Cup (1 stick) butter at room temperature
2 Cups sifted sugar
2 eggs beaten w 1tsp real vanilla extract
3 Cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 Cup milk
1 quart (4 Cups) blueberries (preferably fresh) dredged in 1/4 Cup flour
cinnamon sugar to taste (I go heavy with it)

In a large mixing bowl cream butter well, add sifted sugar & cream again. Add eggs & vanilla, blend well and set aside. In a separate bowl sift together flour, baking soda and baking powder and add alternately with the milk to the batter mixing well after each addition. Fold in the dredged berries. Pour into a 9"X13" greased & floured baking pan ( I use Crisco shortening) and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. If using a glass or very dark coated pan bake at 325 degrees. Cool on rack before cutting. Yum.

Slap Chop Rap

2009-08-04T12:13:00.002-05:00

There is just no introduction that could do this justice, so just watch...

My Moldy Thumb

2009-06-14T17:51:00.004-05:00

Just thought you might all enjoy the wonder and mystery of the mold that has taken over my succulent plant.

I mean seriously, what IS that yellow thing? On the up side, and so you don't think I'm a total FAIL with plants, check out my thriving herb garden. The trick is that it's outside so nature waters it instead of me.

Boone's Farm Cake

2009-05-27T22:20:00.003-05:00

Don't ask me what I was doing on the Boone's Farm Fan Club site, but I came across this enticing recipe. Cake mix, instant pudding AND crappy strawberry wine? I just might have to try this out:

Boone's Farm Wine Cake
Special thanks to Boone's Farmer Kendra from Roseville, California for submitting her soon-to-be world famous Boone's Farm Wine Cake recipe:

Mix together:
1 box Yellow Cake Mix
1 box Butterscotch Instant Pudding Mix
4 Eggs
1 Cup oil
Once all mixed together add
1 Cup Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill Wine
dash of Nutmeg

Pour into Bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 - 55 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Let set for 10 minutes to cool before inverting onto plate.

Thanks to Sarah N for the photo of Dan B

House Gymnastics

2009-05-14T11:35:00.005-05:00

I cannot decide if the guys behind House Gymnastics are brilliant bohemians making the best of their home environment when a gym membership is just too costly...

...or are they dudes who just never grew out of jumping up to slap the tops of doorways or slide down banisters in the school hallways. Whichever it is, I applaud them for making an art of it. Plus they are kind of hot.

I wonder what they recommend for getting footprints off the walls.

Sweet Victory

2009-05-12T09:08:00.005-05:00

My personal baking hero, The Cake Hero Melissa Torres, won the Brooklyn Kitchen's 3rd Annual Cupcake Cookoff with these delightful spring cupcakes! Vanilla cake with frosting made from real strawberries and springtime fondant decorations.

Digital Grilling

2009-05-07T10:46:00.002-05:00

How to solve the problem of grilling on the tiny slab of concrete you call a backyard while also enjoying tunes from your iPod as it strains to blast tunes out your kitchen window?

The miGrill - a tabletop gas grill with built-in speakers.

Just plug your iPod right into the miGrill's base where its speaker module will provide the soundtrack to your very compact BBQ. Seriously, how did we ever grill without this?

Thanks once again to Thrillist for tipping me off to the weirdest crap.

Spending Some Green on Mom

2009-05-03T14:29:00.004-05:00

I was delighted to stumble across a shop around the corner from my apartment, newly opened on Earth Day -- Green in BKLYN. As you might guess, they specialize in eco-friendly gifts and housewares including Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day cleaning products as well as treats, cleaning supplies and wearables for doggy and baby. Eager to support a new local, green business I picked up a tea towel for Mothers Day featuring one of Mom's favorite kitchen phrases.

Home + Garden Reno for Hipsters

2009-04-01T11:26:00.002-05:00

If I had a few thousand more dollars squirreled away and was ready to gut and reno that brownstone in Clinton Hill or that Victorian home in Ditmas Park, I'd be way psyched for this event next week at The Bell House. Advice for the hipster homemakers.

TUE 4/7: 6pm-8pm / FREE: front lounge

HOME & GARDEN RENO FOR HIPSTERS
*Darrick Borowski (of Jordan Parnass Digital Architecture) talking home renovation.
*Alice Kreig and Carmen Devito (of Groundworks Gardens) to talk about plans and outdoor renovations.
*Rob Slifer (of Professional Advantage/Eastern Bank) to talk about how to get the $$!
*Eve Levine (of The Corcoran Group) to host and answer real estate questions.

iPhone Birthday Cake with Cupcake App

2009-03-26T09:16:00.003-05:00

I've frequently shown off the edible work of my baking buddy Melissa, but this one really, um, takes the cake.

iPhone birthday cake complete with cupcake app. Sweet.

Hott Mugs

2009-03-12T09:37:00.002-05:00

In addition to my favorite Democrat Mugs, which allow me to press my lips up against Obama and Eleanor Roosevelt, Fishs Eddy now sells Nudie Mugs in green and yellow.

Is it weird that I've been posting a lot lately about racy housewares?

From Snuggie to...

2009-03-10T09:43:00.004-05:00

...the COUCH DRESS! The larger, more elegant, more hand-crocheted sister to the blanket with arms known as the Snuggie.

Weighing in at I'd guess like 100 lbs, this colorful, grandmotherly blanket gown comes with two flower broaches... for when you want to take Couch Dress to the opera? I'd like to hear if Couch Dress fares as well as Snuggie in the outdoors.

Note to shoppers: Pantalaine will customize this item to fit you and any loveseat or sofa in your home.

Erotic-Glass by Wilson

2009-03-06T10:42:00.003-05:00

Looking for something to adorn your windows or perhaps the top of your buffet? Want something classic, but with a twist? Look no further than Erotic-Glass by Wilson, a crafty Canadian lady who brings a little sexiness to the timeless craft of stained glass.

Nipples? Check. Bondage? She's got it. Menage a trois? You bet. There's nothing classier than a woman having her head held against the nether regions of her lover, or a man cupping a woman's breast while she gives him the ole reach around.

Certain images are crafted in reflective mirrors, stirring one to ask, as Wilson puts it, "In whose hold does she find her 'safe haven'? Is it in the arms of a loving partner? Could it be in the arms of potentially anyone seeing their own reflection in the mirror? Or could it be her stonger inner self?"

Heavy.

How "safe haven" and bondage go hand in hand, I'm not sure. But hey, that just ain't my thing. Somehow the fact that some oddball middle-aged lady in Ontario is crafting this sultry stained glass makes me find it more adorable than creepy.

Much thanks to Thrillist for bringing Erotic-Glass to our attention!

Paula Deen Pantsed

2009-02-24T17:43:00.004-05:00

Lovable granny chef Paula Deen lost her pants at the South Beach Wine & Food Festival. Oh my!

Speaking of Paula Deen, last night I was treated to a delicious dinner of baked french toast and eggs in spicy tomato sauce. Nothing quite like breakfast for dinner! The baked french toast was a Paul Deen recipe, minus an entire stick of buttah. The eggs recipe was from Everyday Food, with these edits by the chef:

I used mexican cotija cheese (instead of feta) and sprinkled chopped cilantro on the whole thing at the end. Another tip: I recommend carefully squeezing up the whole tomatoes in your hand then adding them into the sauce -- messy, but easier than breaking them up with a spatula. Also I used one can of crushed tomatoes and one can of whole peeled tomatoes.

This fantastic meal, which also included a bread salad, a basil and tomato salad AND sausage and grits, was only a precursor to a tasty and recession-friendly Soup Swap... which I will tell you all about soon. Still slurping soups...

Cookie Chaos

2009-02-20T12:47:00.002-05:00

How could I not link to this: The Cookie Chaos Set

Boyfriend Jeans: Making Extra Desserts OK!

2009-02-18T21:53:00.005-05:00

As I squeezed myself into my skinny jeans this morning, regretting downing the extra helpings of Dulce de Leche Bread Pudding leftover from my Valentine's Day dinner, and the extra red velvet cupcakes my Valentine brought me from Baked, I thanked the fashion gods that ripped-up boyfriend jeans are in for Spring.

Perfect timing too since two of my favorite jeans have recently worn holes in the thighs and crotch, my black denim Levi's even ripping straight across the ass when I tried to hoist myself into an SUV (another reason to loathe those vehicles). It was all just fate making my wardrobe up to date for the new season!

Valentine's Day at Home Sweet Home

2009-02-12T18:03:00.003-05:00

With the economy in the toilet, who has the money to eat out anymore? Waiting around at busy restaurants on Valentine's Day only to be surrounded by people on awkward, high-pressure dates just isn't my idea of fun anyway. Better to cook at home for your sweetheart this year, so here's a few suggestions for different types of Valentine's:

First Date / Guy You Lured Home Earlier from the Bar
A first date calls for some social lubricant! Epicurious offers recipes for the "Top 5 Sexiest Cocktails" and food pairings. Home Sweet Homewrecker suggests skipping the food pairing to just focus on the fancy booze.

The Old Ball and Chain
Split up the cooking duties. One of you tackles the main dish and the other the sides or dessert. This way you both have a project you can work on in the kitchen, together! No waiting around for your food wondering what to talk about. And do the dishes tomorrow.

Daddy Daughter Date
This is what I'll be enjoying this V-Day. Dad likes Triscuits and Miller High Life, so I think I got it covered!

Flying Solo
Don't have a Valentine? Who needs 'em! Curl up with a box of Annie's Bunny Pasta with Yummy Cheese (for maximum cuddle and comfort levels), your NetFlix and hit the hay with your man arm pillow. Is that weird?

Cake Porn vs. the Diet

2009-01-07T08:48:00.001-05:00

I had just eased into day-three of my half-hearted New Year's diet, the first day where I'm not totally starving or madly craving cake (even though on a normal diet I don't eat cake for weeks at a time without noticing). So of course I stumble across this. A recap of some of the most delicious, gorgeous, drool-worthy confections from across the country. It's enough to make me want to go on a cake-eating road trip.

Included in Cake Spy's confections of the year recap is the pumpkin whoopie pies from Brooklyn's Baked, where I just the other day gave in to the Brewers Blondie and a strong cup of coffee that gave me a toothache and the shakes, respectively, and ignited the desire to go on a diet in the first place. Oh sweets, harsh mistress, it's a vicious cycle!

Booze Saves Christmas

2008-12-24T19:13:00.003-05:00

It's Christmas eve and you don't have a rolling pin for those Christmas cookies? Don't worry, just empty (read: drink) a bottle of wine and you've got a make-shift rolling pin.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM HOME SWEET HOMEWRECKER!

Bitchin' Kitchen

2008-12-19T16:37:00.003-05:00

She's kind of intense and has an accent I can only describe as "biker babe," but Nadia G, the buxom blond host of web TV show Bitchin' Kitchen is a kindred spirit. She gets very in-your-face showing how to whip up recipes like "Bag Em', Tag Em' French Toast," "Rehab Ravioli" and "One Night Stand Breakfast" -- a surefire way to curb that awkward conversation the morning after.

Check out her site for the latest episode, an ode to underdog vegetables parsnips and brussels sprouts (my fav). She sheds new light on how punk rock veggies can be. Then stick around to probe her site for recipes, cookware tips and to call in to her Bitch-o-Rama hotline!

Holiday Shopping Guide for all the Home Wreckers in Your Life

2008-12-17T18:01:00.004-05:00

While I haven't actually felt like shelling out much money this year on those I love, I do enjoy window shopping and web browsing for holiday gift items that I never intend to buy. Here's some gems I uncovered; a list of some of the best items for the home wreckers in your life.

For the DIY man (or the hot fix-it guy):
Size Matters Tape Measure

A handy tool for all your measuring needs around the house... including the bedroom.

For the bundle of joy:
Home Wrecker Onesie

Hey, call it like it is.

For the hot to trot homemaker:
Northstar Retro Range

You might not know how to cook, but at least your stove can look cute.

For the whoreticulturist (wow I just got another idea for a blog...):
Park Planters

Just like a stroll through the park near my apartment, only the flashers and gay dudes getting BJs are in delicate, white ceramic.

Happy holiday shopping friends!

A Lesson in Couture

2008-12-11T19:17:00.002-05:00

I like to think I'm pretty decent at my job (you know, that thing I do when I'm not fussing over my apartment and what to eat). I'm lucky when I get to work on projects that involve my personal interests, like the time we taught people how to decoupage light switch plates as a promotion for a car company. Trust me, it made sense.

But then there are the times when I'm tasked with a project that challenges the boundaries of my skill set, shall we say. For instance, I coordinated an online teen soccer community (I don't play sports) and I managed marketing for an auto company (I don't own a car). I made a viral video with snowboarders in Wyoming (I don't snowboard, but I enjoyed hot tubbing in the snow). Sometimes it's, well, weird, but I'm always learning something new!

My latest challenge at work is to manage the blog of a high end fashion store. Fashion? You are talking to the girl who shops almost exclusively at Target and Forever 21. The girl who wears orthotics in her sneakers. The girl who last week paired electric blue nail polish with red plaid tights (the polish showed up mysteriously in my shopping bag with my $5 tights, so it seemed like karma wanted me to wear them together). Sure, I care about my appearance, but in my world thrift and comfort are always #1. Couture is basically lost on me.

As with everything else I've tackled on the job, I trust I'll learn something new (did you know berry tones are in for fall?) and become a better person for it. Perhaps as Home Sweet Homewrecker has helped me strive to improve my home decor, blogging for high fashion will help me hone my own fashionista know-how.

Which I will then apply directly to the shopping racks at Forever 21.

Turkey Time

2008-11-21T17:11:00.003-05:00

So what are you cooking for Thanksgiving?

I'll be making last year's Momofuku brussels sprouts for a friend's turducken party this weekend, but for Thanksgiving proper, I'm just sticking to bringing the wine.

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread

2008-11-09T19:23:00.008-05:00

A brisk, fall day called for warm, seasonal baked goods and a little music. If that loaf of Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread looks a little overgrown to you, listen to find out why. You can make your own pumpkin bread by (carefully) following this recipe:

3 c. all-purpose flour
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
4 eggs
2 c. sugar
2 c cooked or canned pumpkin
1-1/4 c. vegetable oil
1-1/2 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips

In a large bowl, combine flour, cinnamon, salt and baking soda. In another bowl, beat the eggs, sugar, pumpkin and oil. Stir into dry ingredients just until moistened. Fold in chocolate chips.

Pour into two greased 8-in. x 4-in loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 60-70 min. or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 min. before removing from pans to wire racks. Yield: 2 loaves.

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread

The playlist:
AA Bondy - World Without End
Chad VanGaalen - Willow Tree
The Pretenders - Brass in Pocket
The M's - Pigs Fly
Smashing Pumpkins - Obscured
The Muslims - On My Time

Women Workin' It

2008-11-08T11:29:00.002-05:00

Excuse us, but why weren't we asked to pose for this?

Yes We Cake!

2008-10-27T17:25:00.004-05:00

Amid the presidential election fervor, there arises the occasional effort that is just as adorable as it is inspiring. One such example is the new blog Yes We Cake which covers baked goods devoted to Obama. Delicious democracy!

Small Space Decorating

2008-10-01T18:56:00.002-05:00

Now that it's been well over a year since I moved into my own apartment, my little abode is well settled and decorated and really only needs the occasional replacement of a dead plant. Ok, frequent replacement.

Therefore I am eager to help others decorate their new homes. Be warned, in the early 90's I convinced my mom to paint our living room mauve, so not all my ideas are spot on. For this reason, I'm turning to the experts at Apartment Therapy for ideas to decorate a lofty studio apartment. I found this article from earlier this year that shows off great use of color to separate spaces, and also color restraint to make small spaces appear big and airy.

If you have suggestions for small studios with high ceilings, let's hear 'em. I also liked this repurposing idea from Readymade. It will work well with his high ceilings.

Pining for Pumpkins

2008-10-01T00:06:00.000-05:00

Just minutes into the first day of October and I'm already pining for pumpkins. When it comes to food, I think fall is truly the most romantic time of year. Sure summer has ripe veggies and berries, grilled things and cool drinks. But it's too damn hot to cook. Autumn invites butternut squash soups, a cup of hot apple cider in your mitts, baked apple crisps, and all the bounty of the harvest.

I hope to get out to a U-Pick farm this fall, because there's something satisfying about "harvesting" your own food, but at the very least I will waltz down to the local green market for some pumpkins and cider over the coming weeks. And when I do, I am armed with four delicious pumpkin recipes from Readymade.

Of course I can probably find versions of these pumpkin-y consumables ready-made for me at the market, leaving me more time for sipping cider and catching up on another fine thing that's returned for the fall season -- Gossip Girl.

A Good Wife Always Knows Her Place

2008-08-19T17:12:00.003-05:00

A friend sent me this 1955 Good Housekeeping article about how to be a good wife to your hardworking hubby. I'll share with you some of my favorite tidbits:

"Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it."

"Let him talk first -- remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours."

"Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice."

"Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him."

"A good wife always knows her place."

"After providing your husband with a healthful meal, washing the dishes and putting your little treasures of children to bed, join your husband in the marital bed and open your vagina to him so you may perform your wifely duty."

Ok, I made up that last one, but it's pretty much implied anyway. Wow.

On a similar note, I've started reading a book called Finding Betty Crocker by Susan Marks. While I'm willing to bet Betty had a lot of advice similar to that above, she also had a lot of good, practical cooking advice for all those housewives (and out of work husbands). Granted it was all loosely veiled advertisements for Gold Medal Flour, but in the Depression Era at the dawn of radio, Betty Crocker was a revolution in brand marketing.

Also the idea of a radio cooking show maybe isn't really that weird.

Summer is for BBQs

2008-07-29T14:40:00.005-05:00

I've been a slacker about posting on the blog all summer because I've been too busy doing what one is supposed to do in the summer -- abandon the kitchen for outdoor BBQs! Aside from taking one rainy Sunday to bake a strawberry rhubarb pie, I've been soaking up the sun at lots of friends' backyard and public park BBQs. Kudos to the Shameless Carnivore for grilling prosciutto-wrapped asparagus and delicious pickle brine-soaked pork chops last weekend, made from spicy McClure's pickle brine no less!

Summer also means outdoor concerts, and I've managed to see one almost every week between the Pool Parties, Celebrate Brooklyn, East River Music Project and River to River. But there is one event that will be combining my love of summer BBQ and summer outdoor music -- the New York Magazine "Highbrow BBQ" on August 23rd. It's part of their successful New York by New York live music series. Here's the info below -- buy your tickets now! You can even enter a Best BBQ food challenge.

What: Highbrow BBQ
Who: Former Top Chef contestant Chris "CJ" Jacobson and a full-set performance by Islands
When: Saturday, August 23rd, 1:00pm - 5:00pm. (Rain date August 24th, same time.)
Where: Solar One, East River waterfront at 23rd Street, Manhattan
How much: $25, buy your tickets at nymag.com/nyxny
Is that it? Nope, a 46 issue New York magazine subscription is included with each ticket purchase

This event is presented in collaboration with Glaceau. New York Cares is a charitable partner.

Admission is all ages but ID will be required for drinking.

Note [8/13]: Just added - DJs Never Forget and Tanlines. Preview the Tanlines jams here.

Wedding Version 2.0

2008-07-18T18:02:00.006-05:00

Last weekend, after attending a childhood friend's wedding, I was lured by the promise of danishes and mimosas to a day-after brunch at the bride's parents' house. Turns out this was also a trick to get us to watch the newlyweds open their pile of wedding gifts. I've never really understood the appeal of sitting around watching someone open many gifts when you have no gifts of your own to open. I love Christmas morning gift opening, because everyone gets something, but bridal showers, baby showers, graduation parties... it's dull. Especially wedding gifts because we all saw the registry. There's rarely any surprises.

Even further beyond my understanding is why one would want to videotape the gift opening, as the father of the bride was on this occasion, and watch it again later. Of course, this particular video will have the running commentary of her dad's wonderfully awful puns. Guess which gifts were being opened while these one-liners were delivered: "They're barely married and you're already MUGGING them!" "Boy, I can really DISH it out!" "You seem really BOWLED over by that gift!" "I think this marriage has gone to POT!"

The good friend sitting next to me agreed that this is not an activity we'd ever want to relive by watching the video, which led to the plan that when I get married the gift opening will happen via webcam. That way anyone who really wants to watch can do so from home, and even fast-forward to their own gift being opened, while I remain in my pajamas amid a pile of Crate & Barrel boxes.

Even better, my friend added, "you can have the maid of honor Twitter all your gifts as you open them instead of taking notes!" It was then decided that my friend will get ordained online and preside over my eventual Web 2.0 wedding. Guests will be invited via Facebook and each sent home with a flashdrive keychain party favor.

You can add to my earlier post about this modern internet age two additional engagements I recently learned of thanks to Facebook. This is not including the wedding I'm heading to this weekend -- that's two weekends in a row! I get the feeling this couple are the type of people who already have everything, so I decided to get them a primarily edible gift. I filled a basket with local pickles, organic coffee, tea, dark chocolate covered peanuts, ginger chocolate, wine from the bride's home state and ceramic mugs from the city where the lovebirds met - NYC!

Green Gadgets and How I Know I'm Getting Old

2008-05-23T07:59:00.006-05:00

I wanted to share with you a couple of the stranger "green" gadgets I've learned about this week:

Elephant Dung Paper
Yes, paper made from elephant poop. Supposedly elephants produce enough byproducts to make 115 sheets a day! And no, it doesn't smell.

No! Shopping Bag Bra
I mean, WTF? I'm trying to imagine the scenario at the check out counter.

I also have a green item that isn't weird, it's just awesome. I was complaining recently of the lousy water pressure in my shower to a friend, and she told me she bought a water-saving shower head from takeashower.com. Takeashower.com, besides being a cutely obvious place to buy a shower head, is more old school than Dunder-Mifflin paper co. You call up the folks at Takeashower.com, aka Water Management, and place your order over the phone. As I finished giving my info to the nice sales rep, he assured me, "Don't worry... we'll get you clean." And it sounded like he really meant it.

A week or so later my new shower head arrived in the mail, and I screwed it into place. The shower I experienced next, after six months of limpid streams of water and having to rub the suds off, was pretty much next to heaven. I don't know how they turned my weak shower into a cleansing blast, but boy, what Takeashower.com doesn't have in website savvy they make up for in shower head tech skills. As they should, I suppose.

Anyway, the fact that I just felt it necessary to write an entire blog post about a shower head, and that there was a subsequent text exchange between myself and my friend's boyfriend about said shower head (Boyfriend: "Awww yeah that showerhead!", Me: "YES!") means only one thing. I am getting old. These are the things old people get excited about.

[Note: Today I noticed, perhaps due to this post calling their site "old school," takeashower.com now takes orders online! - 9/17/08]

Shame Stew, Easy on the Onions

2008-05-14T17:13:00.004-05:00

On a recent evening I decided to make myself a nice dinner of beef bourgine, because as usual I wanted an excuse to cook with red wine. My first stop was to Balducci's for fresh herbs, mushrooms and beef. I asked the butcher behind the counter for one-third of a pound of sirloin.

"Three-fourths of a pound?" he asked.

"No, ONE-third. Why? Is that weird?"

Shrug.

Was this butcher judging me? So what if I'm cooking for one? Is that so unusual?

"This is about half a pound," he said, holding up a piece of sirloin.

"Ok?" I replied, not knowing if he was asking my permission to sell me half a pound, or just educating me on the cut of meat. But next thing I know, he's wrapping up the not-exactly-cheap sirloin and passing it to me over the counter. Apparently it's not ok to eat for one.

Indignant, I headed to my neighborhood grocery store for the less-fancy staples for this dish, which included frozen pearl onions. Of course, the store has no pearl onions, but after three passes through the frozen section I did find "Stew Mix." This store-brand veggie mix showed a photo of potatoes, carrots, celery, and abundant pearl onions. That should work! Surely you see where this is going...

Upon opening the "stew mix" at home I found, amid the golf ball looking potatoes and icy carrots and celery, exactly ONE pearl onion. Friends, beef bourgine was a bust -- shamed and duped all in one meal. A single onion for a single girl.

Sign of the Times

2008-04-22T09:22:00.005-05:00

In the year 2008 I find out that two of my good friends got engaged over the weekend... via Facebook. (I found out via Facebook; they didn't get engaged over Facebook, but expect to see that in 2009). This is just a little too "Web 2.0" for me, though I soon discovered that they did in fact send out a friendly announcement email, complete with an attached photo of their smiling faces, but this communique got eaten by my spam filter. Also very 2008.

"What else is stuck in my spam filter?" I then wondered. And there it was. The email from my local farm co-op telling me that shares in the 2008 crops were going on sale NOW so act fast if you want fresh veggies every week from local farms. I had been so excited to partake in this feel-goodie, localvore, slightly-expensive-given-that- our-whole-planet-is-experiencing-a-food-shortage experience. But thanks to my spam filter thinking my veggie application was some kind of virus attachment, shares sold out and I will be picking up my greens at the grocery store and the farmers market with everyone else. Sigh.

Odds are I would get stuck with piles of swiss chard every week anyway. And what the eff do you do with swiss chard?

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Episode 5

2008-04-19T11:45:00.008-05:00

For this installment of Rock and Roll Recipe Radio I invited over my friend Scott Gold, author of the new book The Shameless Carnivore: A Manifesto for Meat Lovers. While writing his book, Scott tasted 31 different animals in (roughly) 31 days, so it's safe to say he knows his meat. Scott brought over two different cuts of buffalo meat to my apartment which we turned into buffalo carpaccio, buffalo tenderloin with roasted potatoes, and pan-fried buffalo ribeyes. Don't worry, I prepared some veggies too.

Listen to our cooking here and check out the musical playlist below.

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Buffalo 3 Ways With the Shameless Carnivore

Buffalo Tom - Treehouse
Dash Rip Rock - Trapped Inside a Liquor Store With You
Appomattox - Either Way
Harris - Carousel
The Ruby Suns - Oh, Mojave
Deerhunter - Cryptogram
Songs in the Key of Meat - 31 Animals in 31 Days

Read more of Scott's meaty exploits here.

A House I Can Afford in Brooklyn

2008-04-17T10:46:00.002-05:00

This house for sale in Brooklyn is probably about the same size as my apartment -- but with a yard! What do you think? It comes with a Murphy bed.

From the listing: "This house, located near the intersection of Ave T and Van Sicklen is believed to be Brooklyns smallest house. Occupying what used to be a driveway, it's a one bedroom, one bathroom home that sits on a parcel of land 7.25 feet (2.2 metres) wide and 113.67 feet (34.6 metres) long and has an interior area of just under 300 square feet (under 28 square metres)."

THE PRICE ? ? ?
You get all this for

ONLY
$179,900.00!

Fantasy Football Bed

2008-03-31T17:26:00.003-05:00

Ladies, be thankful that this isn't your bedroom.

Can you even imagine sleeping, let alone getting "romantic" in a bed that resembles a football field? (Ok, maybe you can guys, but I'm talking to the ladies...) Sometimes I see those design shows on TV where they try to incorporate some husband's overgrown baseball paraphernalia collection or model train obsession into the home decor. It usually looks something like this, and if I ever marry that person, well... No I just won't marry that person. Can't do it.

Thank you Fantasyland Hotel for some laughs. Check out the igloo room, the truck room and other delights including the "Canadian Rail" room which kind of just looks like my parents' living room in 1989.

Chia Herb Failure

2008-03-30T21:51:00.002-05:00

My mom, an avid gardener, encouraged my green-thumb-in-small-spaces by giving me a Chia Herb garden for Christmas. She picked one up for herself too, and we planted them around the same time to see whose grew better. I’m comforted somewhat by Mom’s reports that her garden isn’t exactly flourishing, but I’m pretty sure it’s doing better than this…

Apparently you need to water them more than once every two weeks. Sigh. But, still wanting a crop of tasty herbs on hand, because I hate picking up a hefty bunch from the store only to use a pinch while the rest turns to ooze in my vegetable bin, I am determined to try, try again. Apartment Therapy has a good, and attractive, plan for a one-pot herb garden that I may give a try.

In the meanwhile, I’ll just have to keep using up that excess mint from the store on mojitos!

Birdie Baby Room

2008-03-18T17:52:00.006-05:00

Until I have the husband and the money and the room and the life skills to pop out any kids of my own (on purpose), I enjoy observing the baby making steez of my friends and friends of friends (because let's face it, my best friends are just as busy drinking, paying off debt and not-being-married as I am...).

In this post I want to share some pics from my coworker's sister and bro-in-law's adorable nursery for baby-to-be. Their choice of birdie art from Pottery Barn Kids is right in line with my growing collection of ceramic birds. A collection that is sure to be overgrown and creepy by the time I'm elderly. That right boys, who wants to make babies with the crazy bird lady?

Kombucha-cha-cha

2008-03-11T02:01:00.003-05:00

Recently kombucha has become the hot new health beverage. This fermented tea claims to have fantastic detoxifying effects on the body and may even give you a natural high, it's just that good for the bod. I have friends that swear by it, and I've tried it a couple times hoping to find a sense of well being in a bottle (since the usual bottle doesn't always do the trick).

I can't say I'm convinced that this vinegary, bubbly, living beverage really does anything special. At least not for me. Though I respect, and even envy, friends who so enjoy the healthful effects of kombucha that they are now growing their own "mother fungus" at home to ferment this elixir themselves.

But what I really want to know is, if you spill half a bottle of kombucha in your purse, is a macroscopic solid mass of microorganisms going to grow a mother fungus in there? Um, because I'm a little worried.

Cooking with Sparks

2008-03-03T23:02:00.003-05:00

Someone told me about this home cooking tribute to the orange-colored, caffeinated malt liquor known as Sparks the other night. I can't remember who because I'd been drinking way too many Sparks and I was both drunk and walking on the ceiling. Nevertheless, I always like to support my fellow home wreckers, so I thought I'd share this truly creative and disgusting cooking show with you. Bon appétit!

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Episode 4

2008-02-22T22:58:00.003-05:00

For my 28th birthday I decided to celebrate not only my birth, but also to lament that I simply didn’t rock out hard enough to burn out at 27 like so many rock stars (Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, etc).

Staying with this theme, and perhaps taking it to a whole new level, I enlisted cake-decorating friend Melissa to decorate for me a rock and roll suicide themed cake for the occasion. Tune in to this special birthday cake episode of Rock and Roll Recipe Radio to hear all about it.

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Red Velvet Rock and Roll Suicide Cake

Red Velvet Cake Recipe

Playlist:
The B-52’s – Cake
The Afghan Whigs – Be Sweet
Radiohead – House of Cards
Ben Lee – Birthday Song
Nirvana – Come As You Are
Cake – Short Skirt / Long Jacket
Cowboy Junkies – Sweet Jane
Cracker – Happy Birthday to Me

When A Boy Buys You A Waffle Maker...

2008-02-19T22:36:00.004-05:00

...you make waffles. Even if, in the end, he doesn't stick around for breakfast.

And for the discreet man...

2008-02-07T15:43:00.001-05:00

...The Beer Belly

Warning: Excessive use will result in a real beer belly.

For Sexy, Secret Boozing...

2008-02-07T15:31:00.000-05:00

..."The Wine Rack."

"Bartender? I'd like to upgrade to a Pinot Grigio D-cup, please."

Home Away From Home: A List of the Meats I've Eaten in Wyoming

2008-02-03T20:49:00.000-05:00

Day 1:
Bison Bratwurst
Filet Mignon
Salmon

Day 2:
Bacon
Wild Boar Stew
Trout
Sea Bass

Day 3:
Tofu (I needed a break)
More shrimp
Chicken
Elk

Day 4:
More bacon
Hamburger

Day 5:
More bacon!
Tuna
Chicken and shrimp pad thai (needed a red meat breather)

Day 6:
More bacon!!
Elk chili (back to red meat!)

Audible vs. Edible

2008-01-10T18:14:00.000-05:00

vs.

Since you know we love food, music and bad puns, it should come as no surprise that this Food Marathon post comparing Hot Chip and Hot Kettle Chips delights us. Here's a taste...

ROUND 2 - ORANGE GINGER WASABI vs. SHAKE A FIST (track 2)
Hand's down my favorite track and chip. The song's rich, layered production is akin to the chip's depth of flavor. Jangly bass undertones in the song are similar to the chip's subtle ginger flavor. The bass and wasabi are the highlights the song and chip respectively- notable in the aforementioned mid-song breakdown. The citrus in the chips is best represented by the overall synths in the song- both are well-defined, well-chosen and blend well with the other elements

Totally Lazy Last-minute Holiday Shopping Guide

2007-12-20T17:47:00.000-05:00

Last night I was shopping for spatulae at the Brooklyn Kitchen. I asked the owner what else I should pick up for my mom for Christmas and she said, "Egg pants!!" Wow, egg pants? It's really the gift for the cook who has everything. Here's some other ideas for Christmas gift housewares, from HSW to you.

Heart-shaped Egg Mold (tell the eggs to drop their pants and get in the pan)

Dear Diary Flask in a Box

Naked Men in Oven Mitts Magnets

Wine Glass Holder Necklace

Cocktail Party Turned Animal House and a Breakfast Miracle

2007-12-16T18:29:00.000-05:00

I tried to have a classy holiday cocktail party -- cranberry-pear bellinis, artichoke dip, crudites, bourbon-pecan truffles, the works! And what happens?

Untitled from KneeniG on Vimeo.

My guy friends end up shotgunning tall boys in my kitchen, and the cops show up on a noise complaint. Hey-o!

After all this mayhem, I woke up Sunday "morning" sometime around 1pm having just dreamed a wonderful dream about the most delicious breakfast. I imagined a poached egg sitting atop a bed of creamy grits, smothered in hollandaise sauce and served to me in a stemmed dessert dish. "Wow," I thought, "that would be delicious. I will have to try making that when I'm not so hungover." I started to imagine it as the signature item in the cookbook I will publish some day.

I met a friend in Fort Greene for brunch around 2pm at this fantastic French place iCi. The restaurant specializes in local ingredients and incidentally is owned by former reality TV guy Laurent Saillard, from Bravo's The Restaurant. Well, what to my wondering eyes did appear on the menu? Poached Eggs with Grits and Truffle Sauce. When it arrived, the truffle sauce turned out to a more elegant sort of hollandaise sauce -- it was the breakfast from my dream (minus the dessert dish)!! Friends, it was a breakfast miracle.

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Episode 3

2007-12-15T15:59:00.001-05:00

It's a special Christmas episode of Rock and Roll Recipe Radio, and I am joined in the kitchen by my friend Anna. She makes the hot toddys while I mix the cookie dough, we both lick the mixers, and I handle the balls. I mean shaping the cookies into balls. Here's the holiday playlist:

The Wedding Present - Step Into Christmas
Smoking Popes - O Holy Night
The Raveonettes - The Christmas Song
The Flaming Lips - Christmas at the Zoo
The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
Coldplay - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Episode 3 - Dark Chocolate/White Chocolate Peppermint Cookies

Decorating with Wrapping Paper

2007-12-15T15:49:00.000-05:00

Success with a decorating project! I wanted to frame two Audubon bird prints I found at an antique shop recently. I happened to have two metal Ikea frames with concert posters I was ready to retire, but the frames were way too large for the delicate little prints. Inspiration struck! Off to my favorite card and gift shop I went in search of some nice wrapping paper, and I was happy to find this antique-looking paper with shades of green that play well off the prints. After that, it was a cinch to cut the paper to fit the frame and tape the bird prints down in the center. Ta-da!

Turning Japanese (or Thai, or whatever, isn't it all the same?)

2007-12-06T11:06:00.000-05:00

Okay, that was not actually my attitude when I decided to make a Vietnamese-style Thanksgiving side dish for my cousin's Chinese exchange student. I was just thinking Asian fusion, people. Does anyone really believe that this nice college girl from Shanghai would really be offended by my contribution of David Chang's beloved Momofuku roasted brussels sprouts to our otherwise pretty traditional Thanksgiving dinner? My mom told me Li Ting was a vegetarian, so I simply thought I'd make a veggie side dish with a little spicy kick that might appeal to the visiting exchange student. It's not like I was going to make a speech after the grace explaining how I welcome her to our country and please accept this gift of roasted brussels sprouts in the style of your people. I just love Momofuku's sprouts and wanted very much to eat them myself.

Leading up to Thanksgiving dinner at my folks' house in Chicago I was also starting to imagine the dinner scene from Sixteen Candles where Chinese exchange student Long Duk Dong is perplexed by the quiche and grandpa says, "You don't spell it, you eat it!" Only grandpa would be my dad saying something vaguely, though unintentionally, offensive about Asian people (like calling them "oriental"), and Molly Ringwald would be played by my best friend whose family was joining us for dinner and who was celebrating her birthday that same day.

As it turned out, Li Ting couldn't join us after all, and my friend's birthday was impossible to forget thanks to a massive Mayflower cake she baked for the dual occasion. And I'm not too sure the members of my meat and potatoes eating family cared much for my fish-sauce soaked sprouts, but dammit I liked them!

(Yes, those are little pilgrims made out of Teddy Grahams)

In other Asian cooking news, last night I cooked up a dish of ginger soy salmon with coconut chili spinach. It did a miracle on clearing out my stuffy nose and throat, but word to the wise-- after working with Thai chili paste and cutting up chili peppers, be careful what sensitive body parts you touch with your spicy fingers. Yeeouch!

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Episode 2

2007-12-02T23:44:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of fall, I decided to make some cozy, harvest-y food. Plus someone challenged me to make lasagna. Tune in to the link below to hear me fumbling around in the kitchen with organic butternut squash, lasagna sheets that stick together, and layers that I get out of order thanks to too many glasses of wine. Or just tune in for the music below:

Neil Young - Harvest Moon
R.E.M. - Me in Honey
Iron and Wine - My Lady's House
Nick Drake - At the Chime of a City Clock
Pela - Lost to the Lonesome
Smashing Pumpkins - Crush
Pavement - Elevate Me Later

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Episode 2 - Butternut Squash and Mushroom Lasagna

Check out the recipe I was working from (and straying from) here.

Erotic Cakes

2007-11-16T12:19:00.000-05:00

My lucky friend celebrated her birthday last weekend with THIS BIRTHDAY CAKE:

(image courtesy of Strach)

The only thing that would make this cake more perfect is if he was dressed in a slim-fit grey cardigan.

(image courtesy of my brain)

Awwww hell yeah.

Rocking Out and Eating Out with Yo La Tengo

2007-11-01T09:26:00.000-05:00

It's an especially great time for people who love both food and rock and roll. People like me. I've talked about Kara Zuaro's indie rock cook book, there's a link on the left to Post Punk Kitchen, and hopefully by now you've heard about Dinner With the Band, an online TV show that's brought NYC bands like Pela, Grizzly Bear and Matt & Kim in the studio to cook and to rock out.

Good food and good rock and roll meet again in the fall issue of my favorite free magazine, Edible Brooklyn. The regular feature, The Brooklyn Fridge -- in which Edible Brooklyn visits a prominent Brooklynite and dissects their 'fridge -- features Yo La Tengo bass player James McNew and his Red Hook apartment kitchen. A Brooklyn resident since 1991, McNew elaborates on his favorite places to food shop and eat in the borough I call home. I cranked up "Cherry Chapstick" on my iPod and let the drooling begin as I read this great little article on the train to work.

Read the full article by opening the pdf here. Or pick up a free copy of Edible Brooklyn around town.

**Update** I ran into James McNew at a bar in Park Slope shortly after posting this. I said (hopefully not too creepily) "I, uh, read all about your kitchen." To which he said, "It's a great place." We both nodded in agreement. I love living in Brooklyn.

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Episode 1

2007-10-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

As you may know by now, enjoying music is a major passtime of these two homewreckers. So tonight I'm debuting a new feature for Home Sweet Homewrecker called Rock and Roll Recipe Radio. Basically this is a chance for you to join us in the kitchen, try out a new recipe, and listen to some music while we cook. Listen in by saving the link below, or just check out the recipe (thank you Everyday Food) and enjoy this soundtrack.

Peter Bjorn & John - Objects of My Affection
Archer Prewitt - Good Man
Kid Sister - Damn Girl
The Klaxons - Atlantis to Interzone
Beastie Boys - Time for Livin'
The Thermals - Our Trip
The B-52's - Downtown
Yo La Tengo - Sugarcube
Stereolab - Retrograde Mirror Form

Rock and Roll Recipe Radio - Episode 1 - Scallops and Pasta!

Kitteh!! :(

2007-10-13T11:58:00.000-05:00

So, this happened:

My visiting kitty also mangled several other house plants, unrolled and shredded all the toilet paper, stole one of my loafers, and tore up the arm of my couch. Thankfully the couch was one of my curbside finds (eew, a loveseat from the curb? I know, I know), so this just might be life's way of telling me it's time to buy a "real" couch.

I don't think I'll be getting a cat any time soon.

Bald Britney Cake

2007-10-02T22:12:00.000-05:00

I just got this message from our cake baking & decorating friend Melissa, and well, I'm speechless:

Hey all!

Just thought I'd forward my newest around, I had a feeling people would be into this one. It is, of course, our girl britney mid head shave. I made it for my sister's birthday.

And just in case you fools forgot, melissacakeytime.blogspot.com. Go there and leave me funny comments please, cause I like to feel loved.

-m

ps--around the sides of the cake it says "Bald Britney Says Happy Birthday!".
pps--i got the image from a cookie, so i cheated a little (ie didnt draw britney freehand or anything) http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2007/02/21/britney-spears-the-cookie/