It seems my kitchenware, mostly a bunch of hand me downs or beat up crap I've been destroying since college, is so lacking it prompted a food-loving friend of mine to buy me a new skillet and a chef's knife for my birthday. His roommate's comment on this choice of gift was
adept: "Dude, as a rule I do not buy girls weapons as a gift."
To return the favor, I bought this friend an ice pick for his birthday. We are now fully armed.