The Disgusting Things I Cooked In College

Last night I was throwing together one of my stand-by, cooking-for-one dinners: basil and mint Vietnamese rice noodles with sesame pork. This is a particularly enjoyable dish, not only because it's way easy (basil, mint, rice noodles, fish sauce, sugar, lime, and pork fried in peanut oil and sesame oil), but because you can use the leftover mint as an excuse to drink mojitos for the rest of the evening!

While I'm tossing this dish together, I was thinking back to the stand-by meals of my college years. Back when I was living in my first apartment and using my first kitchen. Here's some of the disgusting things I used to cook:

Frozen Ravioli Bolognese

-Boil a package of bargain brand frozen ravioli, drain

-Spray a pan with Pam and fry up some chopped onions

-Brown a fist full of ground beef in the pan

-Add jarred spaghetti sauce

-Toss in some miscellaneous "Italian" spice, probably oregano

-Pour contents of pan over raviolis and serve

Rating: satisfying but with accompanying stomach ache

What's In The Fridge Stir-Fry

-Boil some rice (because you don't have a rice steamer)

-See what's in the fridge

-Spray a pan with Pam

-Assuming you find any of the following in the fridge, fry up some broccoli, carrots, mushrooms, chunks of chicken and whatever else might make sense (pickles?)

-Once the items in the pan are heated to a leathery consistency, add to rice, which has mostly burnt to the bottom of the pot

-Add soy sauce in the hope of salvaging this sad meal

-Eat a few bites, give up and order Papa John's

Rating: inedible

Sausage Mac

-Make store-brand mac & cheese according to package directions

-Fry up a sausage (this could be a hot dog or an Italian sausage, depending on how extravagant you are feeling)

-Chop sausage into bites and mix into mac & cheese

-God willing, you will also eat a salad to balance it out. Probably not.

Rating: 3rd grade levels of deliciousness and class

The Standard

-Prepare a bowl of Ramen Noodles according to package directions

-Serve with 40oz of Schlitz malt liquor

Rating: usually the beginning of a really good night that ends badly